


The Fourth Drink Instinct

by doodlestrudel



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Indie Music RPF, Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bad Dirty Talk, Bathroom Quickies, Biting, Boys Kissing, Drinking, Friends With Benefits, Humbug Hair, Light Choking, M/M, Male Slash, Mirrors, One Night Stands, Pretend they have accents, Public Hand Jobs, Restraints, Sexual Content, Spanking, Teacher-Student Relationship, Why do I keep naming my fics after pop punk songs I liked when I was 13, milex - Freeform, sappy bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-03-25 14:36:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 39,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3814168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doodlestrudel/pseuds/doodlestrudel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex meets a handsome stranger in a club the night before university starts, and the man soon vanishes as quickly as he had appeared. Was it simply a one night stand, or are Alex and the man destined to cross paths again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Honey, Hush Your Lips

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! I've decided to try and attempt to write a full length fic, and here is the end result. (Well, the start of it at least.) This is an AU fic based on if Arctic Monkeys had never gotten signed and the boys had to attend school instead. There are brief mentions of Jamie and Andy, but the only two members of AM that really have any focal point here are Alex and Matt. I might throw Nick in at some point too. I couldn't resist giving Alex the Humbug hair for this. Anyway, tags will change as the story goes on, and I swear it will be more than terrible smut after this chapter. :) I hope you all enjoy!

The thumping beat pulsating throughout the nightclub was giving Alex a headache. He didn't even want to come to this place tonight, Matt had forced him to. “Come on mate, we're young! Besides, I need to see what kind of birds Liverpool has to offer, and you need to see the blokes!” Matt had reasoned with him. He wasn't opposed to going out, he'd been sitting in their new dorm room for two days now, he just hated these types of social situations. He felt awkward and out of place. Not to mention half the time he'd get hit on by disgustingly drunk men who assumed he was a female from his curly shoulder length hair. He did get a bit of a kick out of seeing their faces as soon as they registered that the ass they just patted was not that of a pretty little Spanish girl's, but was in fact a man's.  
  
He shook his head to himself. He started panicking internally about his classes starting tomorrow. He had always been a good student, but that didn't stop him from worrying about possible failure. This also was his first time being anywhere other than his hometown of Sheffield for any long period of time. He was a bit disappointed about being here at all, he really wanted the band he and his childhood friends had formed to make it. Unfortunately, the time their parents allowed them to have so they could give it a try had come and gone, and no record deal was offered. So, off to university they went. Matt was itching to get out of Sheffield; he was always up for a new adventure. He ended up choosing Liverpool and asked Alex to accompany him, to which he agreed. Jamie and Andy had both decided to stay closer to home. Alex was hoping to make some new friends, although he'd never been particularly good at it. He's always been quiet and shy, preferring to keep his guard up. The fact that he was gay also caused a bit of a setback for him. His family and friends had been extremely supportive, but he knew for a fact that not everyone would be so kind and open to it.  
  
“So, see anyone you like, Al?” Matt asked, effectively pulling Alex out of his thoughts.  
“Eh, nah, not really. I wasn't expecting to find someone to write home about in a place like this, anyway.” Alex replied with a shrug of his shoulders, causing his friend to scoff.  
“Well, I can see a man at the bar eying you up as we speak.” Matt informed him, failing to hide the bubbling excitement in his voice.  
“I bet he thinks I'm-” “No!” Matt interrupted. “He doesn't think you're a girl, he can see your face just fine, and trust me, he likes what he sees.”  
“Where is he?” Alex questioned, eyes darting towards the bar.  
“No, don't look! Let him come to you. I just so happen to see a stunning redhead in the corner, so I'll be making my way over. I guarantee he'll approach you, give him a minute, alright?” Matt assured him.  
Alex sighed heavily before downing the rest of his beer. “Yeah, alright. But if you take that girl back to our dorm, you better not shag on my bed just because it's the closest one, got it?”  
“That was one time Alex! Your bedroom was the first one, and I offered to clean the sheets for you! You're never going to let me live it down, are you?” Matt huffed. He stood and walked away before Alex could respond.  
  
Alex rolled his eyes and began to fidget with the empty bottle in front of him, once again getting lost within his own mind. He was quite wary of the idea of the person at the bar. He wasn't too keen on one night stands and he doubted he'd make any mental or emotional connection with the man. He sighed and chewed on his bottom lip. He jumped when he noticed someone sliding into the seat previously occupied by Matt.  
  
Alex glanced up with a hint of hesitance, but was pleasantly surprised by what he saw. The man was quite beautiful. He had warm, earthy eyes; a gorgeous combination of brown and green. His hair resembled a mop top that The Beatles had once sported. He wore dress pants and a dress shirt, all with a lovely jacket to complete the look. Although the outfit was a bit strange for a nightclub, Alex found it to be rather charming. It also made him feel a little under dressed in his presence, as he was only wearing jeans, a tank top, and a worn denim jacket. The stranger smiled at him, a bit crookedly, and Alex couldn't deny how cute it was. The man pushed a beer across the table towards him.  
  
“Hopefully this is the right one, I couldn't tell what you were drinking exactly from the bar.” he spoke.  
Alex shook his head. “Don't worry about it, I'm not picky.”  
“Wonderful. I hope I'm not intruding on anything.” the man inquired.  
Alex shook his head and smiled. “Oh no, was only thinking. I tend to live in my head quite a bit.”  
The man's lips quirked up. “Even at night clubs?”  
“Especially at night clubs. They're also a great place for people watching.”  
“I suppose that is true, I was doing some of that earlier myself.” the man winked before taking a sip of his beer.  
Alex's cheeks flushed from the man's remark. Thank God the lights were dim and his visitor couldn't see. He cleared his throat before quietly stating, “My name's Alex, by the way.”  
  
The man's lopsided smile once again spread across his face. “It's a pleasure, Alex. My name is Miles.” he divulged, reaching across the table to shake Alex's hand. He noted that Miles had the most beautiful hands he had ever seen, his fingers long and slim. Once they got past the standard small talk, the pair found that they had a fair amount of things in common, especially in the music department. They were thrilled to discover that they both played guitar. From there the conversation lead to movies, to books, even to funny little childhood stories. Alex could feel himself scorching under Miles' heated gaze, he felt like he knew all of his secrets already, as though he were transparent and Miles could see right inside. This both excited and terrified him.  
  
A few hours and beers later, Alex was laughing rambunctiously over a story Miles had told about a party he went to his Freshman year of University. As his laughter slowly died down, he noticed Miles staring at him, his eyes flickering over all his features. He stood abruptly and stepped over to Alex's side.  
“Would you dance with me, Alex?” he asked, his eyes blazing.  
Alex bowed his head slightly, his chocolate colored mane covering his face. “I, erm. I'm not very good at dancing, I'm afraid.”  
Miles only grinned. “That's alright, I'll help you out.”  
  
Alex peered up at him though his locks. He looked so hopeful, so inviting, he couldn't bear the thought of disappointing him. He nodded his head and stood, taking the hand that Miles outstretched towards him into his own. Miles' grip tightened as he pulled him to the dance floor. They weaved through the crowd until they were lost somewhere in the middle. Miles let go of Alex's hand and moved behind him, his hands clasping onto Alex's hips. He leaned in close to Alex's ear, his face pressing into his hair. “Okay, just move to the beat. Focus on the hips, that's what it's all about, isn't it?”  
  
Alex could sense Miles' smile as his lips morphed into one as well. He slowly began swaying his hips to the beat, his brow furrowing in concentration. His body was stiff, and he knew Miles felt how tense he was. “Relax! You're dancing, not performing brain surgery.” he laughed into Alex's ear. Miles moved along with Alex, and as they went on, he loosened up, his body almost moving on it's own. He laughed out loud, feeling carefree. He got bolder with his movements, wanting to lose himself completely in the music, and in the man behind him. His breath hitched slightly as Miles' hand moved up his arm, then proceeded to tuck his loose strands behind his ear. “You're doing wonderfully, love.” Miles murmured, his fingertips gently trailing down the other boy's chest.  
  
“You're bloody gorgeous, you know that?” Miles muttered. He lightly kissed Alex's nape, his hand returning back to his hip. He pulled the smaller boy closer, till the back of his body was pressed into the front of his own.  
  
Alex hummed sweetly as he melted into the contact, relishing in the feeling of Miles' lips against his neck. He leaned his head back until it was resting on the other man's shoulder. Miles took advantage of the new expanse of skin he was exposed to. He sucked at the spot just underneath Alex's Adam's Apple, his fingers digging into the boy's sides. He bit down and Alex gasped.  
  
“Miles” he whispered, his arm reaching up to grasp the back of Miles' neck, his other hand sliding over top one of the hands Miles had placed on his hip. His eyes fluttered shut as Miles worked on marking his neck, unable to hold back his quiet sighs and gasps. He turned his face towards Miles, his nails piercing into his neck as he pushed his face towards his own. Their lips collided and suddenly it seemed as if they were the only ones in the entire club, everyone else long forgotten. Alex felt Miles' tongue flickering against his lips, and he wasted no time in allowing him entrance. The kiss was lustful, desperate, yet still maintained a certain sweetness only a first kiss could provide. Miles' arms wrapped around Alex's torso, holding him tightly.  
  
Alex slowly rolled his hips back, his ass rubbing against Miles' groin. Miles groaned as their lips separated. Alex repeated the move over and over, elation coursing through his veins each time a soft moan escaped Miles' mouth. He was caught off guard as he was suddenly whipped around, so that both men were now face to face. He soon adjusted and wrapped his arms around Miles' neck as his tongue traced over his lips. He leaned forward so their foreheads touched and continued with his previous teasing. This time much harsher, causing the other to gasp in delight. He felt himself start to become hard, and was thrilled to find Miles in a similar state each time he would grind his pelvis into his.  
  
Miles unexpectedly reached up and tugged Alex's arms away from his neck, his hands tightly woven around his wrists. “Follow me.” he demanded.  
  
He turned away and quickly began striding towards the bathrooms, Alex trailing along behind him. He pulled Alex into the men's room and checked for any other occupants. When he found it was empty, he pushed Alex into the stall farthest away from the entrance. He took one last glance around the room, then locked the stall door behind him. He turned to find Alex already leaned up against the wall, eyes half lidded and palming eagerly at his erection. Miles raised a brow as he stalked towards the boy, his hands reaching out to grasp him by the hair. He pulled his head back so his neck was exposed, and Miles began sucking on the same spot he had earlier. Alex whined and bucked his hips forward. He was desperate for contact, and started unbuckling his belt, anxious to get himself that much closer to relief.  
  
Miles pulled away from Alex's neck and glanced down, watching on with lustful eyes as Alex worked to get his belt off. “What a greedy little thing you are. You just can't wait to get off, can you?” Miles growled. Alex shook his head and bit down on his lip as he popped open the button of his jeans, his zipper soon pulled down as well. “Please touch me. I want your hands on me. I need it.” he croaked, his eyes wide and pleading. He clutched onto the lapels of Miles' jacket and tugged him forward, crashing their lips together. He moaned into the kiss when he felt Miles' hand slipping inside his boxers, his fingers wrapping around his shaft.  
  
Miles pulled Alex's hardened cock out of his clothing, and began a slow rhythm, causing him to whimper. Alex broke the kiss and looked down. He was hypnotized by Miles' hand, enthralled with the way those skilled fingers moved up and down his length. “Yes Miles, just like that. Ooh, fuck yes.” Alex cooed, meeting each pull on his cock with a gentle thrust of his hips. His hazy stare then settled on the bulge in Miles' pants. He reached out and swiftly got Miles' trousers undone, craving to supply him with the same pleasure he was receiving.  
  
Miles groaned once Alex finally got a hand on him and freed his erection, consumed by the fast yet careful pace Alex stroked him at. He pumped Alex faster, making him moan out Miles' name on loop. He removed his free hand from Alex's silky strands and pushed his fingers into his mouth in an attempt to contain the noises pouring out of him. “You better learn how to behave darlin', or else everyone here is going to know what a filthy boy you really are. They'll know that you're just a little slut.” Miles snarled.  
  
Alex's eyes rolled back as he let out a groan, quickening his movement on Miles' cock while he sucked on his fingers. Miles smirked at the sight, fueled by Alex's muffled moans, his own grunts rising in volume. He noticed Alex starting to tremble slightly as the sounds leaking out of his pouted lips became high pitched. Miles knew he was just as close as he was. “That's it, go on now. Come for me, Alex. Show me how good I make you feel, sweetheart, I wanna see it.” Miles purred, removing his fingers from Alex's mouth. He clung onto the back of his neck and gave his cock a few more rough tugs, bringing Alex to his climax. He came with a low groan, his hips jerking forward as he spilled over Miles' hand.  
  
Alex kept stroking Miles as he came down from his high, and that combined with witnessing Alex's orgasm brought Miles to his own. He sunk his teeth into Alex's neck as he came, biting so hard he worried that he drew blood. If he had hurt the other boy, he didn't let it on. He simply moaned softly as he milked Miles through his orgasm. They stood there for a moment, both completely silent, as they caught their breath. Miles then straightened up and abruptly pulled away, walking over to grab some toilet paper to clean up with. He passed some on to Alex, then fixed his pants. He reached over to tuck Alex's cock back into place as well, making him chuckle quietly. He threw the paper away and pushed a few of Alex's curls behind his ears.  
  
“Well, thank you for that, love, it was a lot of fun. But, I must be going now.” Miles stated with a small smile. With that, he leaned forward to give Alex a quick peck on the lips, then promptly turned away and left, leaving Alex alone in the stall. He stood there for a moment, a bit confused about why Miles had been so anxious to leave. He soon shrugged it off and decided it was for the best anyway. He smoothed out his clothing, and then proceeded to head out himself.  
  
He made his way back to the dorms and tried to ignore the disappointment slowly burning through his tired body.


	2. I Never Told You What I Do For a Living

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Matt attend their first day of university, and things don't go quite as they had expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! I managed to finish the next chapter much sooner than I thought I would. Thank you all so much for the positive response I've received so far, hopefully I do not disappoint! A few quick things I felt I should point out in case there was any confusion while reading:  
> 1\. Coronation Street is a British soap opera, I wanted to stay true to the fact that this takes place in England and so I Googled popular soaps there. I liked that this one had been the first to feature the Northern dialect on British TV :)  
> 2\. Arnica is a plant that actually can help with bruising; let's have another round of applause for Google.  
> 3\. Although I do not feel comfortable in my ability to properly write their accents out, I'm trying my best to include British slang. If I messed something up and didn't use a word correctly, feel free to let me know.  
> 4\. I really have no idea how the British school system works, so please bear with me here.  
> Anyway, once again, thank you all and enjoy! :)

“Get your arse out of bed, Turner!” Matt barked, throwing a pillow at the sleeping boy's head. “I'm not going to be late on the first day because I had to wait around and make sure you get out the door on time.”  
  
Alex simply turned around so he was facing the wall and tugged the covers above his head. Matt bolted across the room towards his bed and snatched up the edge of his blanket, yanking it away from his body. “So help me God, you better get out of bed right now, Alexander!” he shouted, his patience running dangerously thin.  
“Don't fuckin' call me Alexander, you sound like my mum.” Alex grumbled, shivering from the absence of his previous warmth.  
“Well, you clearly need to be scolded since you're acting like a child, refusing to get up on your own and all.” Matt countered. Alex flipped him off in response. He shook his head as he walked towards the small bathroom their dorm housed on his side of the room. “You better be out of bed by the time I'm done in here.” Matt threatened before closing the door.  
  
“Wanker.” Alex muttered as he stretched out his aching limbs. He sat up and ruffled his hands through his hair, a loud yawn emitting from his lips. He sighed heavily as he scooted off his bed and stood up, shuffling towards their shared dresser. He dug through the clothes in his half and reached for the first things he came across. He never really had an eye for fashion, and he certainly couldn't be bothered with it now. He wandered over to his bed and dumped his clothes on top of it, his back facing Matt's side of the room. He slipped off his boxers and swiftly replaced them with a fresh pair just as the bathroom door was flung open.  
  
“Well, look who's up. Nice of you to join the rest of us, princess.” Matt teased, grabbing his shoes and settling onto his bed to put them on.  
“Fuck off.” Alex retorted, causing Matt to laugh and for Alex to shoot him an icy glare over his shoulder.  
Matt held his hands up in surrender. “Alright, sorry. Hey, what time did you get back last night? I never heard you come in.”  
Alex quickly tugged his jeans on and shrugged his shoulders. “Dunno. 'Bout two-thirty, maybe three? Something like that. Did you land that bird you were after?” he asked, anxious to get the subject off of himself.  
“Nah, she were pretty pissed before I ever got to her, and it only got worse from there. I wasn't really up to dealing with that mess.”  
“I'm sorry mate, better luck- Dammit! Where the hell is my belt!?” Alex snapped, interrupting himself as he whirled around to look for last night's jeans. His lips curled up in triumph when he noticed them crumpled up beside the dresser. He made it halfway there before Matt's sudden outburst stopped him dead in his tracks.  
  
“Jesus, Al! Did you get mauled by an animal last night!?” he exclaimed, eyes wide with concern.  
Alex tried to swallow the lump that was suddenly caught in his throat as his eyes shifted around the room. “I, er. What do you mean?” he shakily replied, mentally preparing himself for the oncoming interrogation.  
“Your fucking neck! It's like you've got black and blue polka dots! And I swear I see some teeth marks right there under your Adam's apple....” Matt trailed off. Alex winced as recognition finally lit up his friend's face.  
“That bloke! From the bar! You shagged him, didn't you!?” Matt roared. “I knew it! I knew you two would get on, didn't I? So that's why you were so late last night, you were coming back from his, right?”  
Alex scratched his head before quickly bending down to grab his belt, looping it through the holes of his trousers and clicking it shut. “Well... Not exactly, no...” Alex murmured, pacing back to his bed and pulling his shirt on.  
Matt's eyes narrowed. “What do you mean, not exactly?”  
Alex, always the drama queen, bit his lip before throwing himself back down onto his bed and covering his eyes with his arm. “Well, we didn't full on shag, for one. Only... touching. And we didn't go to his, it happened... in a bathroom stall.” he admitted, humiliation slowly creeping over his face in the form of pink cheeks.  
  
“Oh my God Alex, you didn't?” Matt blurted. A brief silence fell over the pair before he went on, “That's not very sanitary, you know.”  
“Do you really think I was worried about how fucking sanitary the situation was in that moment, Matthew!?” Alex spat, flinging his arm down onto the bed.  
“But what if someone walked in on you?” Matt ignored him and went on.  
“Well luckily nobody did.” Alex sighed. “Besides, isn't that part of the whole appeal to that sort of thing? The thrill from knowing you might get caught?”  
“I suppose so. I wouldn't be able to tell you for sure, since I've never experienced it myself. Since, you know, it's completely unsanitary.” Matt answered with a smug grin.  
  
Alex rolled his eyes, reaching for the pillow his friend had thrown at him earlier and returning the gesture.  
Matt dodged it and laughed before asking, “So, you gonna see him again? You obviously enjoyed yourself.”  
Alex sighed and shifted so he was lying on his side, facing Matt, his head propped up in his hand. “I don't think so, no. He took off as soon as it were over, and never gave me a number or anything. I don't even know his last name.” Alex answered rather despondently.  
“And you liked him, didn't you?” Matt gently inquired.  
“Yeah, I did. He was different, Matt. I know everyone says that, but I just felt such a connection with him, you know?” He paused before softly adding, “I thought he felt it too.”  
“I'm sorry, Al. I really am. I wish it had turned out differently. But, he's clearly daft if he was so quick to drop you like that. You're a gem, and if he can't see that, then he's not worthy of you anyway.” Matt reassured him, pushing himself up off his bed in order to search for his backpack.  
Alex raised his eyebrows as a slow, embarrassed smile crept onto his face. “Jesus Matt, what romantic comedy did you swipe that line from, eh?” Alex laughed. Admittedly, the statement had made Alex feel a bit better about the situation, and he was grateful for his friend's kind words, no matter how silly they were. He knew Matt was genuine, and that was all that mattered to Alex.  
  
“I think I read it in one of my mum's magazines, actually.” Matt joked. He looked over at Alex and eyed the bruises peppering his neck. “You got a turtleneck or something? Those are some nasty marks, mate.”  
Alex grimaced as he sat up and grabbed his moccasins off the floor, slipping them on and standing up. “Yeah, I know. They hurt like hell, too. But no, I don't have a turtleneck, so I guess I'll just have to make a terrible first impression on everyone.”  
“I doubt that. They'll probably be jealous that you got laid before school even started, if anything.”  
Alex chuckled as he shrugged on his denim jacket and tossed his backpack over his shoulder. “Speaking of school, I'm pretty sure we're going to be late, despite how adamant you were that we couldn't be.”  
“Fuck, I know. Oh, the sacrifices I make for you, Alexander.” Matt teased.  
Alex walked over to Matt and punched him in the shoulder before taking off running, laughing maniacally as he raced out of the room, Matt soon chasing after him.  
\-------------------------------------------------  
  
The two boys went their separate ways after finishing what they called breakfast, which consisted of tea and candy bars. (God forbid their mothers ever find out.) Alex had felt nervous at the beginning of the day, he didn't know anyone and wasn't sure what to expect. He was happy to find that everything was almost the same as it was in secondary school, only the students weren't on a tight leash and he could eat in class. He felt silly for worrying so much about it before, but he was always one to assume the worst out of every situation. He'd rather that than have to deal with disappointment when things didn't turn out the way he had hoped. His mother would always tell him to stop being so pessimistic, but he never saw it that way. He preferred to think he was only being realistic.  
  
He and Matt met for lunch before heading off to their one shared class together, which was English. Alex couldn't be more excited, whereas Matt was ready to throw himself out of a window.  
“I don't understand how you could like English so much, Al, it gets so boring. And I bet we're going to have to study bloody Shakespeare in great detail as well.” Matt complained as the pair walked towards the class together. “It's always the same thing.”  
  
Alex shook his head as Matt continued to rant. He adored English, the whole subject fascinated him. He'd always had a love for reading, and as he grew he found that he enjoyed writing as well. When he and his friends had decided to form their band, he ended up being the one to take on the role of lead singer and writer. The thought of baring his soul in that way had initially petrified him, and he was always dreadfully shy when it came to showing the other lads the things he'd written. He felt more comfortable with it in time, but he had a lot of doubts when it came to his ability. He still found great pleasure in writing, and would frequently jot down little poems, and sometimes even songs whenever he felt inspired. He snapped out of his thoughts when he became aware of the hand Matt was waving in his face.  
  
“Hey, have you been listening to me at all?”  
Alex laughed and shook his head. “Nope, I wasn't listening at all.”  
Matt scoffed as he pointed out a door to Alex. “This is it. Last class of the day, thank God. We're even only late by a few minutes, I'm quite proud.”  
  
The boys shuffled into the auditorium and glanced around, finding that the room was a little under half full and, to their relief, the professor having not yet arrived. They trudged up the first few stairs until they were five rows up, then settled into the first two empty spaces, Matt opting for the end seat while Alex preferred to be on the inside. Alex dragged his backpack up into his lap and dug through it, looking for his required books and a pencil to write with. A few more students trickled into the room as Alex pulled out his notebook and opened it to a blank page, proceeding to get it ready with his name and the date at the top. He faintly registered a remark Matt quipped about him being a nerd as he finished with his preparations. He laid his pencil down and propped his head up with his elbow, his face resting in his hand. He closed his eyes and listened to the buzzing of voices from the people around him, hearing stories of a wild house party the previous night and another about a girl named Jenna who was a bitch because she stole someone's curling iron. Just as he became dangerously close to dozing off completely, he heard a low, “Oh, fuck.” drawled out from the boy beside him. Alex's eyes shot open as he turned to face his friend, whose wide eyes were glued to the front of the room.  
  
“What's wrong? Did you forget something?” Alex questioned.  
Matt whipped his head towards Alex and leaned in close before frantically half whispering, “Look up front!”  
Alex's brows furrowed as he faced forward so he could see what had Matt so worked up. His eyes searched briefly until they landed on the source of Matt's behavior, and in that moment he felt all the color drain out of his face. His stomach twisted into knots, and he suddenly forgot how to breathe.  
  
There, sitting in the previously unoccupied professor’s desk, was none other than the man that Alex had met in the club the night before.  
  
Alex's mouth went dry as he stared blankly at him, unable to tear his gaze away no matter how much he pleaded with himself to. He watched as he took out the contents of his briefcase and set up everything he needed for the class to start. Alex gripped onto the edge of his desk as he tried to calm himself down, his heart racing at an alarming rate. Matt shook his head in disbelief as he leaned back in towards Alex. “I can't believe this, you hooked up with the fucking professor last night. In a bathroom stall, no less.” he murmured before beginning to laugh. “Christ, the lads back home are going to go mad when they hear about this.”  
  
“Piss off!” Alex gritted through clenched teeth. “It's not like I knew he was our professor! Besides, you're the one who was so desperate to play fucking match maker.”  
Matt hummed in agreement, his face a bit guilty as he glanced back towards the front. “So what are you going to do? Will you drop the class?”  
Alex groaned and rubbed his temples. “I've no idea. Really I'm just hoping that I drop dead within the next five seconds.”  
“Maybe you'll luck out and he won't recognize you.” Matt suggested.  
Alex ignored the pang he felt in his heart at the thought and softly replied, “Yeah, maybe.”  
  
Matt opened his mouth to speak, but before he was able to, he was cut off by the professor. “Alright, sorry about the delay, everyone. As I'm sure you all know, this is English 131. I'm Professor Kane, and I'll be teaching this course. So, why don't I start off by going down the roster so I know who's here. When I say your name, raise your hand and say here, present, whatever suits your fancy.” Professor Kane rattled off, as if he was reading from a prompter.  
  
He started down his list of names as Matt leaned in towards Alex and whispered, “Kane.”  
Alex tore his eyes away from the professor and looked at Matt, confusion written all over his face. “What?”  
“Earlier you said you never got to find out what his last name was. Now you know. It's Kane.”  
“Matthew Helders?” Professor Kane called out before he could respond. Alex dropped his head down onto his desk in a pathetic attempt to hide from the man, if only for a minute more.  
Matt raised his hand up, shouting a quick “Here!” before turning back to his friend. “Really, Alex? Is this your plan on how to make it through the class?”  
A weak, muffled, “Yes.” was his only response. Matt patted his back to try and comfort him. They remained like that until the moment Alex had been dreading most finally arrived.  
  
“Alexander Turner?” He felt shivers run down his spine just from hearing his name leaving Professor Kane's lips, the sound of him moaning it beginning to echo through his mind. He quickly shut the thought out as he sat up, raising his hand halfway and replying with a meek, “Here.” Alex held his breath as Professor Kane's eyes locked onto his own. The professor didn't appear to react either positively nor negatively, but Alex swore he could see something flickering in his eyes. He nodded at Alex, his gaze then dropping back down to his list and calling out the next person's name. “Well, that was uneventful.” Matt remarked, disappointment evident in his voice over the interaction. “I thought that would be much more drama filled.”  
  
Alex shot him an irritated glare before hissing, “What the fuck did you expect? Did you think he'd scream and run out of the room? Rush over here and snog me in front of the entire class?”  
Matt rolled his eyes. “No, but I thought he'd at least stare at you a little, or have a coughing fit, something of that sort.” he paused before continuing, “I guess he really doesn't remember you.”  
Alex bit his lip and whispered, “I guess not.”, that familiar stabbing in his heart coming back with a vengeance.  
\-------------------------------------  
  
The class was fairly standard when it came to first days. They went over the syllabus and Professor Kane's expectations, which was followed by him giving a description of himself and his work back ground. At least, that's what Alex thought had happened. He was much too busy observing the man himself, taking in the way his voice wrapped around each word, the tightening of his muscles underneath the snug fit of his suit every time he moved. Alex was secretly pleased to discover that Professor Kane frequently talked with his hands, a detail he failed to notice the night before, and he took the opportunity to admire how beautiful they were. He knew he was treading down a dangerous path, the realization ringing true as he began thinking of how those hands had felt on him. Moving down his chest, tugging at his hair, wrapped around his shaft... He licked his lips and shifted in his seat as he then imagined how they'd feel slowly pressing into his tight-  
  
“You okay, mate?” Matt whispered from beside him, instantly ripping him out of his utterly inappropriate thoughts about his professor.  
Alex jumped slightly at the sound of his voice. He turned to look at him, blinking a few times. “What?”  
“I heard you gasp. Is everything alright?” He repeated.  
Alex coughed and looked away, absolutely horrified by the situation. “Er, yeah, I'm fine. Everything's okay.” he muttered, fully knowing just how unconvincing his words sounded. Matt's expression reflected this notion, but he thankfully chose not to press Alex on the matter, opting to nod and turn forward instead.  
  
Alex knew right then that he couldn't possibly stay in this course. He couldn't be plagued with these thoughts for the entire semester, especially if he was going to lose all of his self control and make suspicious noises in the middle of class while he did it. Although the mere idea made him feel sick, he quickly decided that he had to speak to Professor Kane about dropping the course after the lecture was over. He soon went into a minor state of distress when he glanced at the clock on the wall and realized that he had in fact already reached that moment. As if on cue, Professor Kane's voice rose in volume as he said, “Okay everyone, that wraps things up for today. I'll see you all again on Friday. Have a good one.”  
  
_Well, fuck. ___  
  
Alex reached out and tugged on Matt's sleeve. “Hey, go on without me, I need to stay and talk to him.”  
Matt's eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Really? Are you going to confront him? You should rip him a new one for not giving you his number last night.”  
Alex sighed in exasperation. “No, Matthew, this isn't a bloody episode of Coronation Street. I'm gonna drop the course, I feel weird about being in his class after what happened.”  
Matt shoved his belongings into his backpack and stood. “Alright. Well, I wish you luck, and I'll see you back at the dorm.” he whispered before slinking away.  
  
Alex gathered up his possessions at a snail's pace and tucked them away into his own backpack before shakily rising to his feet. He slung his bag over his shoulder and took a deep breath before descending down the steps. Professor Kane was immersed in an email and didn't notice the timid boy cautiously stepping towards his desk. Alex glanced around the auditorium as he reached the edge of the professor's desk, noting that they were the only two left in the room. He tucked his long curls back behind his ears and swallowed hard before quietly stuttering out, “Professor K-Kane?”, biting back the urge to call him Miles.  
  
The man jumped at the sound of Alex's voice, clearly oblivious to the fact that someone else was in the room with him. He spun around in his chair towards the sound, and Alex's eyes widened as they were face to face once again.  
“Oh! Sorry, didn't know anyone was still here. What can I do for you?” Professor Kane chirped, the same small smile he gave Alex last night before he left him making a reappearance. Alex wrung his hands together and cleared his throat. “I, uh. I wanted to see about dropping the course.” he mumbled, his nerves starting to overtake him entirely.  
  
Professor Kane cocked his head to the side as his mouth twisted slightly. “Really? Why's that? You bored with me already?”  
_Oh no Sir, quite the opposite. See, we got each other off in the toilets last night and you don't seem to remember it, which I'm not sure if I should be offended or relieved about. However, I do remember, and now I'm desperately wishing for it to happen again, making it impossible for me to concentrate in your class. ___  
Unfortunately, Alex couldn't voice his actual thoughts on the issue, and so instead made up a lie on the spot. “No no, I just don't think this is the right class for me.” He knew how idiotic he sounded the second the words left his mouth.  
Professor Kane slowly nodded his head, his lips quirking up. “You do know that this is a required course, right?”  
  
_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._  
  
“Oh. Yeah, I knew. I mean, no. I....” Alex trailed off, lowering his head so his hair would drape over his face and conceal his pink cheeks. He wondered how realistic it'd be for a bolt of lightening to suddenly strike him right then and there.  
“Right... Well, the time frame for adding and dropping courses is two weeks after the class begins. How about you stick it out until then? If you still want to drop it, then we'll go ahead and do so. That sound alright?” Professor Kane reasoned.  
“Sure, sounds great.” Alex instantly agreed, wanting to save himself from any further embarrassment in front of the man.  
The professor smiled. “Fantastic. Was that all you needed?”  
Alex nodded his head. “Yes, thank you.” he softly replied. He raised his head back up and noticed the professor watching him intently, making Alex gulp and look away.  
  
“Well. Thank you, Professor.” Not bothering for a reply, he turned on his heel and tread towards the exit. His hand had just touched the doorknob when he heard that already familiar voice echoing throughout the room. “Oh, and Alex?”  
  
Alex froze at the sound of his name rolling off his professor's tongue. Not even his full name, like he had said earlier, but his shortened name. The one he introduced himself with last night. _Does he actually remember? ___  
  
He slowly turned back to the man and found him once again staring him down, his eyes piercing into him, making Alex feel incredibly vulnerable. He wasn't sure if he liked that or not. “Y-Yes?”  
Professor Kane leaned back in his chair as his fingers trailed along his jawline. “You should get some Arnica cream, it'll help with those bruises on your neck.”  
Alex inhaled sharply as he processed the words, and he felt like he might suffocate. “Er. Yes. Thanks for the tip, Sir.”  
  
“Of course, no problem.” the professor assured him. He paused, leaning forward again and licking his lips before continuing. “It seems everyone really has found out how filthy you are, haven't they?”  
  
Alex's mouth fell open as Professor Kane grinned wickedly. He eyed Alex up and down and shot him a wink before turning away to his computer. Alex whipped back around and hastily stepped out of the room, quickly closing the door behind him. He let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding while replaying the conversation in his head over and over. Alex was beyond delighted, and he made no effort to hide the smile on his face as he practically skipped back to his dorm.  
  
_Oh yes, he definitely remembers. ___


	3. Talk Candy In My Ear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is left alone during lunch and has to entertain himself, causing him to have a very interesting conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!!!!! I am incredibly sorry about how long this took me, I had finals last week and felt completely burnt out afterwards, so I didn't have much ambition to write. Thank the lovely Brbie for gently nudging me throughout the week to get the next chapter done! :) This is mainly filler and it's not my best, I admit, but things are going to pick back up in the next chapter.  
> Oh! Also, in case anyone was wondering, Miles is 29 in this fic, just as he is now, and Alex is roughly 19, about to be 20, since this is based on if AM hadn't been signed. (I know professors are usually older than that but, fuck it.) The age gap isn't a main focus for it, and it won't be romanticized. Ezzieforprezzie had asked me about it after the last update and so I figured I should mention that. Anyway, once again, I am so sorry about how long this took me, and I will be damned if it takes me this long again! Enjoy!!! :)

Alex softly hummed to himself as he approached his dorm. He had decided during his walk back that he wasn't going to tell Matt about the last part of his conversation with Professor Kane. Something told him that the professor wouldn't like that, and Alex wanted to honor the notion, for the sake of their... Relationship? Could he even call it that? He'd be lying if he said he didn't want something of the sort, Professor Kane intrigued him like no one else ever had before. (He also knew how to make Alex have a mind blowing orgasm, and he'd definitely love for more of that to happen.) He just had no idea how to bring the subject up, therefore he was hoping that maybe the professor felt the same way and would mention it himself. Alex pushed away the thought that they may never be anything but a one night stand as he entered his room.  
  
Matt instantly raised his head at the sound of Alex walking through the door. “So Al, how'd it go?”  
Alex dumped his bag onto the ground before kicking his shoes off and laying across his bed. “It was alright.. I looked like an idiot though, I told him the class wasn't my thing and asked to drop it.”  
“It's a required class, mate.” Matt laughed.  
Alex shot a glare at Matt before continuing. “Yes, I know, that's what I meant by looking like an idiot. We decided that I should wait the full two weeks and make a decision then.”  
Matt slowly nodded his head. “What about last night? Did it get brought up?”  
  
Alex tried desperately to keep that part of the conversation out of his head, knowing his cheeks would flush and give himself away. “No, it never got brought up. He doesn't remember, and you know I wasn't going to mention it.” Alex answered, being careful not to let his voice shake. He was a terrible liar, and Matt almost always caught him. Luck appeared to be on his side, however, as Matt only nodded his head and replied with a simple, “True. That's too bad, mate.” before focusing back on his coursework. Alex breathed a quiet sigh of relief and slowly began to doze off with images of his professor swirling around his mind.  
  
  
\----------------------------------------  
  
The next couple of days were all a blur to Alex. He and Matt had managed to already develop a good routine, much to Alex's relief. Spontaneity was not his thing, he much preferred to have a set schedule, and he was happy to have Matt on board with that. He was thrilled that he ended up making a new friend in his math class, Nick O'Malley, bonding over their mutual hatred of the subject. Alex genuinely felt happy with where things were going, but he felt as though something was missing.  
  
He frequently thought of Professor Kane, and wondered how he could ever approach him. Despite the fact that Matt knew nothing of what truly happened the other day, he still pestered Alex about it. His mother had called the previous day, and Matt didn't fail at yelling obnoxious things from across the room. When she had brought up the subject of teachers, asking Alex if he liked his, Matt was quick to chime in with a, “Oh yes, Penny, he likes his teachers! He's especially close with our English professor, they know each other on a very personal level.” If looks could kill, Alex certainly would have killed him five times over. As soon as the call ended, he jumped up and tackled Matt to the ground.  
  
\----------------  
  
Matt couldn't meet Alex for lunch on Friday, leaving him to his own devices. Since Nick was in another class, he decided it wouldn't hurt to go to English early. He figured Professor Kane wouldn't even be there, considering how late he was last time, but he chose to go there anyway. He couldn't tell if anyone was there or not once he made it to the door. Just as he was about to turn around and leave, he heard the faint sound of someone singing from the other side of the door. Alex turned the knob and slowly entered the room, curiosity overtaking his body. He was greeted with the professor at his desk, facing his computer and singing along to 'SOS' by Rihanna.  
  
He hadn't noticed Alex's presence, and he added small dance moves to back up his singing. Alex covered his mouth and desperately tried to hold back the giggles that threatened to pour out of him at the sight. Despite the hilarity of the situation, Alex didn't fail to notice how wonderful his voice was, he almost wished he could record it so he could play it whenever he wanted. Alex didn't want to embarrass him, and so quietly slipped out of the classroom without him noticing. He then proceeded to loudly knock on the door to make his presence known. He heard the professor cough before shouting, “Come in!” He took a deep breath before stepping inside, closing the door behind him. The music had been shut off while the professor was now sitting at his desk with a pen in his hand, giving off the impression that he'd only been grading papers. He glanced over and smirked as soon as he saw it was Alex that had walked in.  
  
“Well, look who it is. What can I do for you, Alex?” he purred as he arched his brow.  
Alex wrung his fingers together as his eyes wandered around the room. “I... I was just wondering if I could stay here until class starts? My friend had something he needed to do, so...” Alex trailed off, his doe eyes sweeping over to the man.  
Professor Kane smiled and pointed at the chair near his own. “Of course, come sit right there.”  
Alex remained standing near the door, hesitant to be that close to him. As if the professor could sense this, he smiled reassuringly at him and went on. “It's alright, I'm not gonna bite you or anything... Not here, at least.” he teased.  
  
Alex bit his lip as he felt his face heat up. He knew that the closer he was, the easier it'd be for him to lose all self control and potentially act as idiotic as he had last time. Unfortunately, that closeness was much too tempting for Alex to resist, and so he shuffled over to the chair the professor referred him to. He gently set his bag down onto the floor and pushed his hair behind his ears before lowering himself onto the chair. He couldn't help but rake his eyes over Professor Kane's body, as if he were trying to memorize every detail. He heard him clearing his throat, making Alex look up and realize that the professor had been watching Alex check him out. He said nothing, however, only smiled and shook his head before turning back to his desk.  
  
Alex's eyes followed the movement of Professor Kane's hands as they glided over the paper in front of him, going into an almost trance like state. He racked his brain for any topic of conversation he could possibly bring up, but everything that came to mind seemed wrong. He became so wrapped up in himself that he hadn't noticed the man staring right back at him.  
  
“You do enjoy watching me, don't you?” the professor suddenly concluded, his own eyes flickering over Alex's features.  
Alex's lashes fluttered as he dropped his gaze to the floor, his cheeks painted a bright pink. “I don't do it that much.” he gently protested.  
Professor Kane's brow raised. “Don't be coy. You were just doing it, and I know you stared at me for the entire lesson last time. You're not as subtle as you may think, love.”  
  
Alex shivered at the sound of the pet name, and the husky tone it was delivered in. He wondered how pathetic he'd look if he asked the professor to kiss him, he wanted to know how he tasted without alcohol on his tongue. Alex hoped that he wished for the same, and the way the professor's eyes greedily drank in the sight of him made Alex believe that he most likely did. He was brought out of his thoughts when the man spoke again. “Actually, now that I think of it, you were more like eye fucking me during the last class.”  
  
Alex sucked his breath in as his teeth sunk into his bottom lip. He hadn't realized he was that obvious. “I'm sorry, sir.” he whispered.  
“It's Miles, there's no need for such formality, I'd say we're on a first name basis at this point.” Miles corrected him. Alex nodded as he continued, “Also, no need to apologize. I never said I didn't like you watching me.”  
Alex tried to resist the urge to blush from the revelation, although he did let out a nervous giggle, making Miles grin before he spoke, “You know, you looked very worked up that day. Was something on your mind?”  
  
Alex began to panic internally as he tried to come up with an answer. _Should I just tell him the truth? He'll probably know if I'm lying anyway... ___  
He licked his lips and eyed the professor warily. “I was just... remembering things.” he muttered and stared down at his knotted fingers.  
Miles pursed his lips as his eyebrows raised. “Oh? What exactly was it you were remembering?”  
  
Alex peered over at the other man and chewed on his bottom lip. He was embarrassed to admit that he was fantasizing about Miles, and he definitely didn't want to have to face him after the admission. Then again, if he admitted to it, he might be able to get Professor Kane to repeat the scenario. The thought caused a warmth to spread throughout Alex's body. He straightened up a bit before answering, “I was remembering the other night.” He tried to remain as vague as possible, but he should have known Miles would have none of that.  
  
“What about the other night?” Miles questioned, his eyes blazing with excitement as he leaned forward slightly.  
Alex coughed and once more shrunk in his chair, as if he could magically disappear. “What we did.” he softly replied.  
“And what was it that we did, Alex? Why do you enjoy thinking about it?” Miles pressed on, smirking at the way the others cheeks heated up as he squirmed in his seat. “Good thing that shade of pink is so pretty looking on you, darling, especially since you wear it so often.” he added.  
  
Alex knew he was trapped, but he also knew that if he played the game right, he more than likely would get his way with the professor. He recognized the familiar spark of lust in the man's eyes, and so quickly decided to push his nerves to the side and take the bait. He slowly licked his lips and leaned in close to the man, gingerly taking his tie and gently twisting it around his fingers. Miles' breath hitched in his throat, and Alex fought back the urge to smile in triumph.  
  
“I thought about your hands on me, on my cock. I thought about how good it felt, how hard you made me come.” he murmured, shaking the hair out of his face and lowering a hand down to Miles' arm. He took advantage of the fact that Miles' jacket was off and his shirt sleeves were rolled up to the elbow by lightly stroking at the expanse of skin exposed to him. Alex glanced up at him with a feigned innocence in his eyes, delighted in the lust glazing over his eyes, and the way his arm twitched under his fingers.  
  
Alex reveled in the satisfaction he felt from finally turning the tables on him, from making the professor be the one tongue tied and wanting more. He hummed in approval as Miles reached out and twirled a strand of his hair around his index finger. Alex pulled the hand still wrapped in the professor's tie away and lowered it to Miles' thigh, gently raking his nails up and down the tightened flesh. His tongue flicked over his lips before he whispered, “And I thought about how I want more.”  
  
Miles gained back his composure and tugged at Alex's hair, making him gasp and carve crescent shaped marks into the professor's arm. “Look at you, being such a little flirt and trying to seduce me.” he taunted, cupping his cheek and smirking as Alex immediately leaned into the touch.  
He watched as Alex lowered his lips and gently pressed a kiss to his palm before staring fixedly at him. Miles pulled him forward till his lips were ghosting over Alex's.  
Alex smiled and quickly nodded in an attempt to encourage Miles. He puckered his lips up slightly, causing the professor to chuckle. “So eager.” he quietly remarked.  
  
Their lips brushed just as they heard a sudden knock on the door, causing them to rip apart from each other. Miles reached for his pen and pushed a paper across his desk as Alex flattened his back against his chair and steadied his breathing. He noticed the paper was now directly in front of him.  
  
“I'm helping you with a paper, okay?” Miles whispered. Alex nodded as he called for the visitor to enter. He turned to face the door and realized it was another teacher that he had seen a few times before. She was a lovely woman, brown hair cascading down past her shoulders, bangs sweeping over her forehead, with eyes as blue as the sky. She smiled as she approached them, her eyes flickering between the pair before asking, “I'm not interrupting anything, am I?”  
  
Miles returned her smile and shook his head. “Nah, not at all. Just going over some class work. How've you been, Tinna?” he warmly replied.  
Alex quietly sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, thinking of how damn close he'd been. He tuned out of the conversation until he heard the woman's melodious laughter suddenly fill the room, making him snap his head in her direction. He watched as she touched Miles' hand flirtatiously, and desperately tried not to make his seething jealously obvious when Miles winked and recuperated the gesture.  
  
He gnawed on the inside of his cheek when she laughed again, and he noticed students beginning to trickle into the room. No longer wanting to be anywhere near Miles and the woman, he swiftly gathered his belongings and darted up the stairs and to his seat. He tossed his bag on the floor and slunk into his chair, huffing as he dug out what he needed from his bag and practically slammed them onto his desk. He was very much aware that he was acting like a child having a temper tantrum, but at that moment he couldn't bring himself to care. His eyes darted back over to the professor and he noted that the woman was now occupying the seat he was sat in previously, his presence now completely forgotten. He clenched his jaw and looked away as he heard Matt approaching him.  
  
“Hey mate, sorry about ditching you earlier, I had to get that shit printed out for history and the bloody printer wasn't working properly, and then...” Matt trailed off when he realized Alex wasn't listening, and noticed the somewhat angry look on his friend's face.  
“Al? What's wrong? You look like you're about to kick someone's head in.”  
  
Alex shook his head and smiled weakly at his friend. “Nah, just got a dreadful headache, is all.” he lied.  
Matt seemed to buy it as looked over Alex with a sympathetic smile. “We should probably go and buy things like paracetamol and that.” Alex hummed in agreement and lowered his head onto his desk, trying to calm himself down before class started.  
  
  
\--------------------------------  
  
Alex was sure to keep his eyes off Professor Kane for the entire lesson, focusing only on the lecture and taking notes. He wasn't as upset as he had been earlier, but he still couldn't help but feel a bit emotionally bruised from it. He knew he was overacting, he didn't have any sort of claim on Miles. What he did on his own time was his business, Alex just never wanted to know about it. That still didn't stop him from wondering whether or not Miles has ever been involved with that woman, or if it was just harmless flirting. He figured his imagination was probably much worse than the actual reality of the situation, and so he soon abandoned the idea.  
  
He breathed a sigh of relief when the class was dismissed for the day, he felt as though he was suffocating in that room. He was cautious as always while putting his things back into his bag, being sure everything was in their proper place. Matt groaned with impatience at Alex's insistence in being so meticulous about absolutely everything, no matter how minor the task. They were now the last two students in the room and Matt was anxious to leave. Alex finally rose to his feet and flung his backpack over his shoulder as Matt began chattering away about his mishap with the printer.  
  
Alex smiled and listened to his friend's story, right up until he realized the professor was standing at the exit, his back propped up against the open door. Alex furrowed his brows and decided to slip past the man without any contact. He didn't think he'd try anything, given the fact that Matt was right there.  
  
“Have a good day, lads.” Miles stated as he nodded towards them. Matt nodded back and moved a few steps ahead of Alex, continuing on with his story as he began walking into the hallway. Alex followed behind him, and just as he was about to make it completely out the door, he felt a hand quickly slip something into his back pocket, then felt the hand move away just as fast. Alex stopped and shot a glance at Miles, making him smile and give his ass a gentle pat before turning around and walking back into the classroom.  
  
Matt stopped and whipped back around to face Alex. “You coming or what, Turner!?” he exclaimed, failing to hide the exasperation in his voice. Alex jogged over to him and clapped his hand on his shoulder, muttering an apology as they walked back to their dorm. Alex felt a burning in the pocket Miles had slipped something into the entire time, hardly devoting any of his attention to Matt. As soon as they were back in the dorms, Alex rushed into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. He reached into his pocket, and once his fingers touched a piece of folded up paper, he wasted no time in pulling it out and seeing what it said.  
  
_'Come to my room tomorrow at 12:30, I'll be done for the day then. We need to talk, love.' ___  
  
Alex quirked up a brow and couldn't help but smile as he slid the note back into his pocket. If Alex has his way, he and Miles will pick up where they left off this afternoon, and there will be much more moaning than there will be talking. He softly laughed to himself, the feeling of anticipation for what was to come racing through his veins as he went back out into the room.  



	4. Sometimes It Just Feels Better to Give In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex meets up with Miles to discuss their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! I'm thrilled that I was able to get this done faster than last time, but I still apologize for the wait. I'm hoping this is a better chapter than the last one, since I feel like there's something actually happening now. More angsty Alex featured here, I like him with a bit of a temper. I listened to The Jeweller's Hands quite a bit while writing this chapter, and I think it sort of made me run in a whole different direction than I originally planned, so there's that. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!! :)

It was approximately 12:00 on the dot, and Alex was anxiously pacing throughout his dorm. Initially he had been excited that Miles wanted to talk, but as the hours dragged on, he had become increasingly more paranoid. What did Miles want to talk about? Did he want something more, was he going to tell Alex that everything has been a mistake and that he should forget it? He hated that he didn't know for sure, it made him feel helpless. He was thankful that Matt had gone off to a study group and wasn't there for his seemingly inevitable meltdown over the possibilities.  
  
He'd already changed his outfit three times before settling on a white button up and corduroy pants. He felt ridiculous for being so worked up, but he still couldn't help it. He rushed into the bathroom to take a look at himself in the mirror. He dragged his hands through his hair in an attempt to rid it of knots before smoothing out the front of his shirt. He felt jittery, as though he was going out on his first date. He glanced at himself one last time before stepping back out into the room, grabbing a pair of boots and tugging them on quickly before heading out to Miles' classroom.  
  
He was buzzing with nerves as he hurriedly walked to the room. He saw students in classes and mindlessly wondered why anyone would ever voluntarily take a class on a Saturday. His thoughts were only a brief distraction as he finally made it to the professor's door. He took a deep breath before knocking twice and waiting to be called in. He got no response, however, causing Alex to bite his lip. Did he forget, or maybe he changed his mind? Just as he raised his hand to repeat the action, he heard the man's rushed out voice from behind him.  
  
“Alex! Sorry, was in a meeting. Follow me to my office.” Alex turned in time to see Miles flash him a brief smile before continuing down the hallway. He blew out the breath he'd been holding as he wandered behind the professor. Miles swiftly pulled his keys out of his pocket as they reached a room at the end of the hallway, unlocking the door and opening it for Alex.  
  
The room wasn't much, it barely held enough space for the desk, two small chairs, and cabinet that it contained, but it felt somewhat cozy to Alex nonetheless. He walked in and slowly sat down in the chair closest to him. He noticed Miles locking the door behind him and tried not to openly smile. He lifted his leg and rested his ankle against his knee, reaching out to twist an unraveling string from his shirt around his finger. He chose to let Miles speak first, he had no idea how this conversation would go and didn't want to risk saying the wrong thing. Luckily, he didn't have to wait long.  
  
“You look quite lovely today.” Miles acknowledged as he sat down in the opposite seat, his voice sounding a bit dreamy. A small smile played on Alex's lips as he continued to fidget with his loose string. He didn't want to admit how elated he felt from the professor's simple compliment, even though he had been secretly hoping he would approve of his appearance. He thanked him quietly, and Miles reached out and touched Alex's chin, tilting his face upwards until their eyes met.  
  
“Tell me what you're thinking.” Miles commanded softly, causing Alex to shrug. “Just wondering what you wanted to talk about.”  
Miles nodded and pried his fingers away from Alex's face, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands on his lap. “You seem nervous. Why?” he questioned.  
Alex's hands felt clammy, causing him to wipe them on his pant legs and prove Miles' point. "I'm worried about what you're going to say." He admitted.  
Miles clucked his tongue and smiled. "You shouldn't be. Do you think I'm angry with you or something?"  
Alex sighed and ripped the string off of his shirt. "Maybe. I acted a bit out of line yesterday." He murmured.  
"Oh? Do you mean with the way you were hitting on me or that little fit you threw?" Alex's eyebrows shot up as Miles continued. "Yes, I noticed that. Were you jealous, la?"  
Alex flushed and smiled shyly, shifting in his seat as he muttered a quick “yes”, making Miles chuckle.  
"Well, that wasn't necessary, she's a friend, nothing more." He assured Alex. "Now, let's get on with things, shall we? I wanted to talk about you and I.”  
Alex's heart quickened it's pace and he tilted his head slightly. “What about you and I?”  
“Don't play dumb, you know exactly what I mean.”  
  
Alex lowered his eyes to the floor and twisted his mouth as though he had just eaten something bitter. In some retrospect, he felt as though he had. His natural incline to think negatively made him certain that this was the moment where Miles would say they couldn't act this way. That was the sensible thing to do, but it was the furthest thing from what he truly wanted. He always did what was right, and for once he felt a need to change that. He opened his mouth to try and voice these thoughts, but before he could, Miles went on.  
  
“Listen, I admit, I enjoy playing this little game with you, I really do. But, we can't keep it up, and it needs to stop. This isn't how it's supposed to be.” He stated blankly, and Alex felt his heart sink into his stomach. He then withdrew from the situation and scolded himself for the fact that he had allowed his hopes to get up at all, for exposing his vulnerability. He felt weak, used, and angry all at once. At Miles for playing with him like that, and at himself for being stupid enough to give right into it. He abruptly stood and turned to leave the room, but Miles was quick to react, standing up and grabbing onto Alex's wrist before he was able to get away.  
  
“Where exactly are you going? I wasn't finished yet.” Miles informed him as he tightened his grip on Alex's wrist.  
Alex squirmed at the contact and whirled around to face Miles. “What? You're gonna tell me how it was fun but wrong and we should pretend it never happened? You let me practically throw meself at you yesterday and were more than happy to give in!” Alex snarled, rage pulsing through his veins. He fought the temptation to sneer when Miles released his wrist and slowly retreated from him. He looked like an animal backed into a corner, his eyes wide and scared, and Alex felt liberated to be the hunter. “Even today you still touch me and make your fucking comments, then turn around and say shit like that and expect me to stay around for it. Fuck off, I'm not a toy you can mess with then toss to the side when you get bored.” he concluded, his glare on Miles unrelenting.  
  
Miles licked his lips and nodded at Alex as he inched forward towards him. “I understand, and I know you're not a toy, Alex. I wish you had let me finish speaking before you decided to go off like that.” he asserted, reaching out and taking hold of Alex's wrists in his hands. He felt relief when the younger man didn't try and breakaway from his touch. Miles pulled him closer as Alex's brows furrowed in confusion. Miles released his wrists and held onto his waist, and Alex gasped when the professor suddenly picked him up with ease and sat him down on top of his desk.  
  
“I get why you're upset with me, but hear me out, alright?” Miles whispered as he pushed Alex's curls behind his ears, his hands trailing down and resting on the sides of his neck.  
“Alright.” Alex croaked. He cupped his hands around Miles' forearms, gently rubbing at the skin as he let out a shaky breath. He wanted to slap himself for giving in so easily, but he was interested in what Miles had to say, and having the man's hands on him was the breaking point. Still, he tried his best to hold his own. “Spit it out, Kane. What else do you have to say?” he demanded, his eyes glowering at the man in front of him, and Miles smiled in that crooked way that Alex adored.  
  
“Easy, love.” Miles began, his voice soft. “Now, I apologize for hurting you in any way, it was never my intention. I admit, I like seeing you so wound up from such simple gestures, and I like teasing you a bit. But it needs to stop because it's not enough for me, and clearly not for you either. Right?” he questioned.  
Alex narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips. “Right...” he hesitantly agreed, wondering where exactly Miles was going with this.  
“Good. Well, I'll be upfront and say that relationships are not my thing, but I do like you Alex. I enjoy your company.” the professor divulged, his thumbs slowly tracing along Alex's jawline. He quirked a brow and with a mischievous glint in his eye he added, “The sex is pretty damn good too, at least from how I remember it.” Alex bit his lip and Miles gripped his face tighter before he could turn his face away.  
  
“So, how about we just have a casual thing? We can be physical and spend time together, but not worry about feelings, labels, all that mess. Does that work for you?”  
Alex tilted his head and grinned at the older man, his eyes crinkling around the edges. “So basically you wanna be fuck buddies.” he bluntly stated, his voice filled with humor.  
Miles threw his head back and laughed. “Well, I wasn't going to put it like that, but I suppose so. Maybe more like friends with benefits?” Miles suggested, his hands weaving into Alex's hair.  
Alex's eyes widened as he wiggled his eyebrows. “Oh so we're friends now, eh?” he interjected, his boyish giggle echoing throughout the room. Miles nodded and Alex went on. “Hm, alright then. But uh... What about the whole teacher/student thing? It's technically wrong, innit?”  
  
Miles shrugged halfheartedly. “We're both adults, and the university itself isn't against interactions like this, although it's suggested to not happen while the student is currently taking a class taught by the professor... Still, we're not breaking any rules. However, I do ask you to keep as quiet about it as you can. It's nothing having to do with you personally, I just don't want to be accused of playing favorites by other students.” he requested. He twisted strands of Alex's locks around his fingers as he leaned in close, his mouth ghosting over the others ear. “Besides, the teacher/student aspect is kinda sexy, don't you think? People love to role play that, and we get to have the real thing.” Miles murmured into his ear before nibbling on the lobe, causing a soft whimper to emit from the student. He gently pushed his body against Alex's legs until he took the hint and parted them, allowing Miles to stand between them and press himself closer.  
  
Alex slid his hands up further until his arms were wrapped around his neck. He whined and threw his head back when he felt the professor's mouth move from his ear to his throat, his teeth lightly scraping against the porcelain skin. Alex's breathing quickened as he hooked his legs around Miles' hips, his eyes fluttering shut and allowing his other senses to overtake him.  
“God, you're so beautiful... I want you... Every last inch of you.” Miles whispered between kisses and bites to Alex's neck, making the younger man groan and tighten his legs' grip in response.  
“I'm yours, Miles. Please take me.” Alex begged, his voice hoarse and low.  
  
Miles grabbed Alex's arms and pulled them away from his neck. He rested his hand on Alex's chest and pushed his body down, until his back was pressed against the desk. Miles stared down at the boy as he hovered over him; admiring the pout of his lips and the way his chest moved up and down with every intake of breath, his face adorned with a look of euphoria. The professor bent down and flicked his tongue on the hollow of Alex's throat before inching his mouth over and sucking greedily at his collarbone.  
  
“Mi...” Alex whined, his hands clutching onto the others biceps. Miles pulled his lips away from Alex's flesh with a loud pop, gazing over at him with a look of confusion.  
“Mi? I've never heard that one before.” he mused, smirking slightly. “Giving me cute nicknames already, are we?”  
Alex flushed and opened his mouth in an attempt to stutter out a random excuse, but he was interrupted before he could even begin by Miles locking Alex's lips with his own. They both moaned in unison as Miles rolled his hips into Alex's, and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into the boy's mouth. He slipped a hand into Alex's hair and tugged, making him whimper and arch his back, his grip on Miles' shirt tightening considerably.  
  
Miles broke the kiss with gentle bite on Alex's lower lip. “I like the nickname, love.” he mumbled as he began unbuttoning the younger man's shirt. Alex hummed sweetly and watched him with hooded eyes, rolling his hips up just for the thrill of feeling Miles' body against his own. He knew in that moment he'd do anything for the man, be everything he wanted him to be. He pushed the hair out of his eyes right as Miles pulled his shirt completely open, and he took pride in the look of utter admiration spread across the professor's face.  
  
“Fuck, you're absolutely gorgeous.” Miles marveled, his eyes wide and adoring. He quickly lent in to kiss and lick his way down Alex's chest, taking notice when he let out a particularly breathy moan. When he reached the edge of his pants, he bit down on the student's jutting hipbone, causing the boy to gasp as his hands raked through Miles' hair. His legs loosened around the other man and fell away so that they were dangling over the edge of the desk. He sighed at the feeling of Miles lightly running his hand over his hardened cock, then popping open the button to his trousers. Right as Miles' hand reached Alex's zipper, they were interrupted by the shrill sound of Miles' telephone ringing.  
  
“Oh for fuck's sake!” Miles cursed as pulled away from Alex and stood straight.  
Alex groaned and sat up. “You're not actually going to answer it, are you!?” he asked incredulously.  
“It might be important.” Miles grimaced and walked over to the device. “But-” Alex began to protest and Miles shushed him as he practically threw himself into his chair and picked up the receiver.  
“Hello? Ah, Eugene, how are you?” Miles greeted the caller in a suspiciously fake tone. “It's my boss.” he mouthed towards Alex before continuing his conversation. Alex slumped his shoulders as he glared over at the professor. He didn't remotely try to hide the fact that he was sulking as his eyes wandered over Miles' body, stopping when he noticed the bulge in his pants. Alex smirked as an idea suddenly came to him.  
  
Miles watched Alex with heightened curiosity as he slowly slid off the desk, dropped down onto his knees, and crawled over until he was sat in front of him. His eyes widened as Alex placed a hand on each of his knees and spread them apart, then slipping into the open space the action provided him with. He mindlessly responded to whatever his boss on the other end of the line had said and held his breath as Alex bit his inner thigh through the fabric of his pants.  
  
“What the hell are you doing?” he frantically mouthed to the man in front of him. Miles' eyes were glued to Alex as he innocently smiled up at him, pressing his palm against the front of the professor's pants and beginning to rub. Miles shook his head and lightly tapped his finger on the phone, but to no avail. Alex chuckled softly and undid the button on Miles' trousers, and he felt the others fingers digging into his shoulder when he tugged down the zipper. He faintly heard Miles mutter something into the phone as he slipped his hand inside the man's briefs and pulled his hardened cock out.  
  
He licked his lips and leaned forward, his tongue fluttering lightly against the swollen head. Miles went on autopilot as his free hand grasped onto the back of Alex's head, making him raise his gaze and stare straight into Miles' eyes. Alex rubbed the tip of his tongue along the slit, collecting the beads of precome he found there, and Miles chewed on his lip as he closed his eyes. In one swift motion, Alex took as much of Miles' length down his throat as he could, wrapping his hand around what didn't fit and beginning to tug.  
  
Miles' eyes shot open as he inhaled sharply through his nose. He assured his boss that yes, he was alright, and tried to decided whether or not to pull Alex's head away or push it further down. Without much thought he chose the latter of the two, causing the younger man to simultaneously gag and pull on his cock faster. Miles tucked the phone between his ear and shoulder before balling his hand into a fist and biting down onto his knuckles in an attempt to keep quiet. His smoldering stare burned into Alex's darkened eyes, and Alex softly moaned, making Miles hiss through his teeth at the feeling of the gentle vibrations on his cock. He registered his boss once more asking if he was alright, to which he shakily replied, “Oh.. I'm fine, just got a random shooting pain in my head. Dunno why.”  
  
He sighed in relief when the man on the line sent him his sympathy and bid him farewell; Miles hurriedly said goodbye and slammed the receiver down onto the holder. Alex slowly pulled his mouth off of Miles, a trail of saliva connected between his lips and the tip of Miles' cock. He grinned triumphantly and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, but his smile faltered when he noticed the look on the professor's face, a mixture of lust and anger.  
  
“What the fuck was that?” Miles inquired, his tone low and calm. The sound of it made Alex quiver and lean back on his haunches.  
“Just teasing you a bit... You're always doing it to me, and besides, you were definitely enjoying it.” Alex spoke, the wave of nerves he suddenly felt becoming apparent in the way his voice trilled slightly.  
Miles made a grunt in acknowledgment as he tucked himself back into his trousers and rose to his feet. His gaze dipped down to the man still on his knees in front of him, grinning wickedly when he gulped and fixed his wide eyes onto Miles. “That may be so, but you should know better than to do things like that when I'm on the phone, especially with my goddamned boss!” Miles snapped, making Alex flinch.  
  
“I'm sorry, Miles.” he sheepishly responded. Miles carded his fingers through Alex's curls and nodded. “I know, baby, but I still need to be sure you won't do anything like that again.” Miles drawled, his voice and touch both deceptively soft.  
Alex furrowed his brows and cocked his head. “Wha-What do you mean?” he stuttered.  
“What I mean is that I need to teach you a lesson on how to behave.” Miles growled, pulling his hands out of Alex's hair. “Is that alright, sweetheart?”  
  
Alex bit his lip and stared up at the professor. He wasn't exactly sure what Miles had in mind, but he hadn't failed to notice the way his cock twitched at the endless possibilities swarming through his head. He certainly was eager to find out.  
“Yes, that's alright.” Alex promptly agreed, and Miles' responding smile was anything but friendly.  
“Perfect. Stand up and bend over the desk, face down.”  
  
Alex was always one to follow orders, and this time was no exception. He scrambled to his feet and quickly stepped over to the professor's desk. With one last glance at Miles, he lowered his body down against the wooden surface, his arms outstretched in front of him, and his backside sticking out. He shivered when he heard Miles' raspy praise from behind him.  
  
“Good boy.”  



	5. Bend Me, Break Me Anyway You Need Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex receives his punishment before the pair go on a little trip. (I'm so bad at writing these I'm sorry)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! I once again apologize for how long it took me to update, I really have no excuse other than I was being lazy. I do hope this chapter makes up for it though. :) I won't swear that I'll be faster at updating next time since that seems to set me up for failure, but I will try! Also, I know it was completely cliche of me to have Miles drive a Ford Cortina, but I have basically zero knowledge on types of cars, so it was just easier for me. Hope you all enjoy!!

_Alex was always one to follow orders, and this time was no exception. He scrambled to his feet and quickly stepped over to the professor's desk. With one last glance at Miles, he lowered his body down against the wooden surface, his arms outstretched in front of him, and his backside sticking out. He shivered when he heard Miles' raspy praise from behind him._

_“Good boy.” ___  
\--------------  
  
Miles took in the sight of Alex bent over his desk as he sauntered towards him, standing to Alex's left. He slipped his hand underneath the younger man's opened shirt and traced his fingertips along the student's spine, causing his shirt to ride up. Alex shifted as he felt a chill rush through his body from Miles' touch, his skin soon becoming decorated with goosebumps. He involuntarily bucked his hips forward when he felt Miles gently dragging his nails down his back.  
  
He went up on his tip toes when he noticed Miles' hand trying to reach around his front, sighing in relief when the professor tugged down his zipper before hooking his fingers into his pants and pulling them till they dropped to the floor. He waited for his briefs to follow suit, but to his dismay, Miles did not take them off completely. He simply pulled the back of them down until only his ass was exposed. Alex hummed when the older man cupped his backside, and rolled his hips back into Miles' hands.  
  
“Now, Alex-” Miles began as he gently caressed Alex's skin. “-I'm gonna need you to try and be quiet for me. Can you do that?” he asked as Alex laid his head down onto the desk, his right cheek pressed against the surface.  
  
“Yes.” Alex whispered.  
Miles smiled and tucked the others curls back behind his ear. “Perfect.” he murmured, squeezing the flesh of Alex's bum, making him let out a soft groan. “You ready, love?”  
Alex raised and turned his head slightly, looking back at the professor. “Yes, I'm ready” he croaked, licking his lips and laying his head back down.  
  
Miles gently tapped the side of Alex's face with his finger. “I'm used to seeing this pair of cheeks a bright pink, so let's see how this other pair will look.” Miles mused, smiling when he heard Alex blowing out a shaky breath.  
  
Alex felt an abrupt absence of Miles' hands, and eagerly waited for their return. He had finally realized what exactly Miles was planning for his 'punishment', and Alex had never been more turned on in his life. The silence that filled the room left Alex squirming with anticipation, dying to get Miles' hands on him.  
  
“Give it to me good.” Alex ordered, his voice rough and low.  
  
The words were all it took for Miles' hand to come down against Alex's ass with a harsh slap, the cracking sound emitting throughout the room. Alex gasped out in delight and clutched onto the edge of the desk. “You like this, don't you?” Miles purred into Alex's ear, pressing a hand onto the small of Alex's back as he delivered another slap to the student. He grinned when he noticed the boy gripping his desk so tightly his knuckles were white. “Yes, you certainly do.” Miles concluded, and Alex moaned in agreement.  
  
“Now, you're going to countdown to ten for me; and no, the last two do not count. Understand!?” Miles barked, his fingertips digging into Alex's back.  
  
“Yes, I understand.” Alex repeated, waiting and willing to take anything Miles gives him.  
Miles pat the top of his head before raising his hand and bringing it back down to Alex's ass, making him groan.  
  
“One.” he rasped.  
Another. “Two!”  
Another. “Oh, three!”  
  
Miles paused a bit longer than usual before his hand came back down.  
“F-four, four.” Alex squeaked, his voice beginning to tremble.  
“Five, oh God.”  
  
Each spank had Alex whimpering, and he began to helplessly buck against the professor's desk, desperate for any friction on his cock that he could get. Another particularly biting smack had him crying out. “Six! Oh fuck, six!”  
  
Miles took in the sight in front of him and softly groaned. “Is this good, sweetheart? You like being treated like a little whore?”  
“Yes, oh God yes, I love it.” Alex whined, rubbing himself against the desk a bit harder as Miles' hand came back down over and over.  
  
“Seven...E-eight...Nine, fuck!” he panted, his eyes rolling back as the pain he felt in the beginning turned into nothing but absolute pleasure. Miles slid his hand up from the small of Alex's back and wrapped the student's long locks around his hand. He pulled on the others hair at the same second Miles gave him his last smack.  
  
“Ten! Ten!” Alex gasped.  
  
The slapping came to a stop, switching instead to a gentle rubbing, as Miles tried to soothe the sting he knew Alex was undoubtedly experiencing. Alex sighed and released his hold on the edge of the desk, though his heart was still racing from the thrill of Miles' punishment. He'd never been spanked, not even when he was a small boy and had displeased his parents. He had quickly decided that the act was now his new favorite activity, though he supposed that might have more to do with the person who he experienced it with.  
  
"Hm, your arse does look quite lovely when it's bright pink like this... Just as I suspected." Miles professed before abruptly pulling his hands away and straightening up. “Get dressed, we're leaving.” he announced as he collected his belongings.  
  
Alex tugged his briefs back up before standing upright and stared at the professor, completely baffled. “What? Why? I thought we were...” he trailed off as Miles arched a brow, urging him to continue. “I thought we were gonna do more than that.” he finished, quickly pulling his trousers back on and re buttoning his shirt.  
  
“We are, just not here. You're too noisy to do much of anything here.” Miles assured him before planting a small kiss on Alex's lips, making the boy grin. “I suppose you're right about that. Are we going to yours, then?”  
  
Miles walked towards the door and unlocked it. “Yes, that okay with you?” he questioned, pulling open the door and gesturing for the student to leave. Alex nodded and shuffled out the door, Miles following close behind him. They walked to the exit in silence, until Alex suddenly stopped and asked in a near whisper, “You sure we should leave together like this?”  
  
“Oh... yeah.” Miles mumbled, his eyes searching around the area. “Eh, fuck it. It's Saturday, no one's really around anyway.” He motioned for Alex to walk with him as he pushed open the doors into the faculty parking lot, wandering around until the pair ended up in front of a red Ford Cortina. Miles unlocked the car and got in, and Alex paced over to the passenger side and climbed inside. He half smiled as he buckled himself and Miles turned the vehicle on. “This car suits you... Dunno why, but it does.” Alex observed, making the professor chuckle as he pulled out of his parking space and drove on towards his flat.  
  
Alex shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he noticed the slight chaffing he felt against his backside, making him wince. Miles happened to glance over at Alex in that moment, prompting him to ask, “Your bum hurting?” his tone failing to disguise the glee in his voice at the discovery.  
  
On an impulse, Alex stuck his tongue out at the professor before crossing his arms over his chest. “Yes, you twat. Thanks for that.” he pouted, and Miles decided to ignore the less than nice nickname. “You loved every second of it, don't pretend like you didn't.” Miles countered, glancing sideways at the boy. Alex twirled a strand of hair around his finger as he gazed out of the window in an attempt to avoid Miles' claim. “Yeah, yeah. So are you into the whole Dom/sub thing then?” he blurted out before he could stop himself.  
  
Miles burst into a fit of laughter at the question and shook his head. “No, I'm not into that. Honestly it was always just something I wanted to try, and the timing seemed as good as any, so.” he answered before laughing once more.  
“Oh, okay.” Alex muttered as he continued to twist his hair around his fingers.  
“You seem disappointed by this.” Miles remarked, his brow arched in piqued curiosity.  
“Well... I just really liked that...” Alex mumbled, refusing to meet the professor's eye. He noticed Miles pulling into a driveway before shutting off the engine. Alex realized that he must not live far from the campus, as they hadn't even been driving for a full five minutes.  
  
“I can still spank you if you enjoyed it that much love, I'm just not into the whole bdsm thing.” Miles reasoned, trying not to laugh at the boy's new found interest. “Come on, let's go in.” They got out of the car and Miles led the way to his front door, unlocking it and gesturing for Alex to go inside. He took his boots off beside the door and proceeded to wander around.  
  
The place wasn't exactly what Alex had expected. It wasn't too big, nor too small. None of the furniture matched each other, and there was posters and photographs scattered on the walls. He could smell a faint hint of incense throughout the place, the living room in particular. It reminded him more of the dorms he lived in, rather than a grown man's home. However, he quickly decided he liked that.  
  
The two things that really captured Alex's interest was the bookshelf filled with literature of all kinds, and the record player beside it, with dozens of vinyls piled up around it. He remembered the night they met Miles had mentioned a deep love for music, so he was not surprised when he found the collection. From what he could see, the man had wonderful taste, another thing he recalled from that night. He ran his fingertips along the worn spines, noting that the professor appeared to enjoy anything from Paul Weller to Oasis. He grinned when he saw The Beatles' Rubber Soul amongst the stacks of records, his own personal favorite. He froze briefly when he felt a pair of hands suddenly rubbing his shoulders, but quickly relaxed into the touch.  
  
“How about we go on into the bedroom, eh?” Miles suggested, his warm breath hitting the back of Alex's neck. He hummed in agreement, letting Miles take hold of his hand and pull him towards the room.  
  
Alex didn't get a chance to have a good look around the bedroom, as soon as he stepped inside he was pushed back against a wall and Miles' lips were on his. Alex wrapped his arms around Miles' neck as he groaned, letting the kiss deepen. Miles tangled his fingers through Alex's hair and pressed his body on the other man's, using his weight to pin him there, and grinding against him. Alex slid his hands down the sides of Miles' torso until he reached the hem of his shirt and gently tugged on it. Miles took the hint and broke the kiss, allowing Alex to remove the clothing. He worked on unbuttoning Alex's shirt, stopping only to get his arms pulled out of his shirt sleeves. When the final button was undone on the student's shirt, Miles pushed it down and off of him before their lips were once more reunited. Alex captured Miles' bottom lip between his teeth, gently pulling it and making the professor moan.  
  
Miles pulled away before growling, “Get on the bed. Now.”  
Alex immediately obeyed, walking over to the edge of the bed and climbing up onto the top of the covers.  
“Lay back.” Miles instructed. Alex nodded and obliged.  
  
Miles strolled over and eyed the younger man up and down, admiring the beauty of him. He unzipped and unbuttoned Alex's pants before quickly tugging them down and off his legs, leaving him only in his boxer briefs. He sat on the edge of the bed and pressed a hand against the bulge in Alex's underwear, teasingly rubbing his palm up and down.  
  
“Is this for me, hm? Am I the one who made you hard?” Miles cooed as Alex let out a soft moan.  
“Yes, it is. It's all for you.” Alex croaked and rolled his hips up into the professor's hand.  
Miles beamed at the admission before going on, “That's right. This is mine, no one else's. It belongs to me now, doesn't it love?” he asked as he lightly squeezed Alex's cock through the fabric of his briefs.  
  
“Yes! It's yours, only yours. Oh, fuck.” Alex groaned. “Please... Miles, I need more.”  
Miles stopped his rubbing and grinned down at him. “Oh? What exactly is it you want, Alex?”  
“I want you to fuck me, wanna feel you... Mi, please.” he begged, not caring if it made him pathetic or not, he was much too desperate for release.  
  
“I suppose I could do that for you.” Miles agreed, secretly enjoying Alex's neediness, though he wasn't faring much better. He stood and opened the drawer to his bedside table, rummaging around until he found lube and a condom. He tossed them onto the bed beside Alex before wiggling out of his own trousers, pulling his boxers along with them. He watched as Alex licked his lips and palmed himself, his eyes never straying from Miles' naked body. He listened to the quiet whimpers Alex emitted as he crawled back onto the bed, settling on his knees between Alex's legs.  
  
“You were just as impatient the first time, if I'm remembering correctly.” Miles remarked, his only response a quick nod from the man underneath him. “You wanna come, don't you? I have made you wait awhile for it.”  
“Mhm, I wanna come, and make you do it too.”  
  
“If that's what you want, then that's what you'll get.” Miles conceded. He tugged Alex's briefs down and off, grabbing the bottle of lube and lathering two of his fingers in the substance. He pressed them against Alex's tight heat and pushed inside, slowing down when he felt Alex tense up slightly. He waited till the other had relaxed again, and pushed his fingers deeper inside of Alex.  
  
The boy arched his back and moaned at the sensation. Miles slowly developed a rhythm over the next few minutes that had Alex gasping for breath, and soon enough he pushed down on the professor's fingers himself. Miles curled his fingers upwards just as Alex came back down, hitting his prostate and making him groan.  
  
“Miles! I need you, please...” Alex cried out, craving more than he was receiving. He sighed when Miles pulled his hand away, focusing in on him while he applied the condom and more lube to himself. Alex spread his legs further apart in anticipation as the professor held his cock at the base and moved closer. He rubbed the tip up and down Alex's entrance, teasing him. “Is this what you want, laa? Hmm? You want my cock?” Miles taunted, and Alex whined in response.  
  
“I want your cock, yes Mi! I want it!” Alex parroted. He glared up at Miles when he suddenly pulled away from him, but before he could protest Miles spoke. “Get on your front.”  
Alex huffed at the interruption, but swiftly did what he was told, flipping over onto his stomach and pushing himself up onto his knees and elbows.  
  
Miles hummed in approval and inched closer to the other man, teasing him a bit again before gently pushing his length into him. Alex moaned and dropped his head down onto the bed, reveling in the feeling of finally being filled. Miles pulled back till only the head of his cock was still inside him, before thrusting hard and deep into Alex once more. Alex whimpered as Miles settled his hands on the younger man's hips, pulling him in closer. He continued his tortuously slow movement until Alex couldn't take it anymore.  
  
“Faster, I need it faster!” Alex insisted, knowing he likely wouldn't last long and wanting as much as he could get. Miles complied with Alex's demand and picked up the pace, the student's satisfied moans and the slapping of skin echoing throughout the room, along with Miles' own grunts and groans. Alex stretched his arms out in front of himself, clutching onto the pillows as Miles relentlessly thrust inside of him. The smell of sweat, sex, and Miles' own personal scent, along with the feeling of the professor inside of him was flooding his senses.  
  
“Your cock feels so good, Mi, so fucking good.” Alex gasped as Miles continued to pound himself deep within Alex's tight hole. He could feel his own cock leaking with precome down onto the comforter, staining it. He yelped in surprise when Miles suddenly tugged harshly on Alex's hair, dragging him upright until he was holding himself up on his knees and sitting in Miles' lap. He wrapped his arms around Alex's stomach and pulled him back, his chest pressing against the others back, before continuing his punishing movement inside Alex, his thrusts shallow but deep.  
  
The adjustment in angle got Miles' cock to hit Alex's sweet spot with each push the older man made inside of him, causing him to almost scream out in pleasure. Alex had never felt so full before, so stretched to the maximum as he did in that moment. He gripped onto Miles' arms that had snaked around his front with both hands, his nails digging deep into the skin, before dropping his head back onto Miles' shoulder.  
  
Miles pulled one arm away, and just as he was about to raise his head to see why, he felt the older man wrapping a hand around his cock, tugging it in time with his progressively sloppier thrusts. Only a couple minutes passed before Alex was moaning out incessantly and clenching around Miles' length.  
  
“Ooh fuck, there we go. I told you I'd give you what you wanted. You gonna come for me, baby? Be a good boy and do as you're told? Come now, Alex.” Miles hissed, his voice shaky and breathless. A few more rough pumps inside of Alex and on his cock was all it took to have him writhing in Miles' lap and calling out his name; his release spurting out onto the professor's hand and onto his own chest. Miles groaned into Alex's ear as he came, his grip around Alex becoming impossibly tighter as he rode out his orgasm. Their movements slowly came to a stop, and Alex pulled away from Miles before laying out on the bed.  
  
“I'll go get a washcloth, yeah?” Miles murmured as he got off the bed and stood up. He waited for Alex's nod before walking off to the bathroom. He returned momentarily with a damp cloth, and he passed it over to Alex before joining him back on the bed. Alex wiped himself clean as Miles reached for a pack of cigarettes, grabbing one and lighting it up. His gaze lingered on the professor as he had his smoke, on the way his cheeks hollowed with every inhale, and the pout of his lips with each exhale. He felt a sudden urge to curl against the man, but thought better of it, unsure of whether or not post-sex cuddling was considered acceptable within the terms of their 'friends with benefits' arrangement.  
  
Miles glanced over at Alex and smiled, the lopsided one that made Alex feel funny little flips inside the pit of his stomach. “You want one?” he asked as he held out the cigarette box. Alex rolled onto his side and propped his head up with his hand.  
  
“I've uh... Never had one. I was always too scared me mum would kill me.” Alex admitted, looking up at Miles through his lashes. He was relieved when the older man failed to laugh at his confession, and instead nodded his head in understanding. Miles offered the cigarette he had already lit before reasoning, “Well, your mum's not here now. You should feel free to be a little naughty once in awhile.”  
  
Alex laughed and took the cigarette between his middle and index fingers, copying the way he saw Miles holding it. “I think I just got done being quite naughty enough as it is. But, I suppose one more thing won't hurt.” he agreed as he brought the cigarette up to his lips and inhaled. He felt a burning deep in his lungs, and his throat felt scratchy. On reflex, he instantly began coughing at the foreign feeling, and almost elbowed Miles in the ribs when he heard his soft chuckling beside him. Still, he felt determined to get it right, and once more took a puff on the cigarette. He still coughed slightly in the back of his throat when he blew out the smoke, but Miles took the cigarette back before he could try again.  
  
“Not too bad. Almost everyone about hacks up a lung the first time, so don't worry about that.” Miles assured him before taking one last drag and stubbing it out into the nearby ashtray. Alex smiled as Miles reached out and pushed the younger man's hair back, his thumb lightly skimming across his cheek. They stared at each other for a brief moment before Alex abruptly pulled away and stood up.  
  
“Should probably be heading off, Matt's gonna worry about me.” he explained as he tugged his underwear back on.  
“Ah, yeah... True, that...” Miles coincided while he followed Alex's movements as he got dressed. Alex sat on the edge of the bed next to Miles as he fastened the buttons on his shirt, and goosebumps covered his body as Miles traced a finger up and down Alex's spine, a repeat move from earlier that day. He still felt incredibly affected by the touch, even if the contact wasn't made on his bare skin.  
  
“You want me to drive you? I will if you'd like, though campus really isn't too far off from here.” Miles asked as his eyes flickered over the younger male's features.  
  
Alex smiled sweetly at him and shook his head. “Nah, it's alright. It's only late afternoon, so the walk of shame shouldn't be too bad. Better than in the early morning.” he teased, and was thrilled when he was able to make the professor laugh. There was something he found so satisfying about it.  
  
“Very true. Well, I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend, then.” Miles concluded, and Alex nodded in agreement. He leaned down and lightly kissed Miles before standing up. He walked over to the door, and just as he was about to leave, he heard Miles from behind him. “Text me when you get back so I know you're okay. Liverpool can get a bit dangerous closer to night.”  
  
Alex turned and faced the professor before saying, “Okay, but you'd have to give me your number first.”  
He tried to hide his smile as Miles dug around his drawer for a pen. He was able to admit to himself that he found the worry over him to be endearing, though he'd rather not dwell on what that could possibly mean. He walked back over to Miles as he scribbled out his number on a scrap from an empty cigarette pack. Miles grinned as he handed it over to Alex, who tucked it deep into his pocket.  
  
“Alright, now I'll be heading off.” Alex confirmed. He couldn't help but once more lean down and press a quick kiss to Miles' lips before wandering back to the door. “See you, Mi!” he called as he walked out of the room. He heard Miles laugh and reply with a, “Bye, love.” as he shut the door behind him; walking out to the front door and tugging his boots back on before making the journey back to the dorms.  
  
  
Miles didn't escape Alex's thoughts for a single second the entire way back.  



	6. If I Let You In, You'd Just Want out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some story progression, fluff, and angst. I'm getting worse at these with each update, I apologize.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I'm proud of myself, this time I only took a week to update. Anyway, you might have noticed that the chapters are named now. It doesn't really mean anything, it was something I did out of boredom at 3 a.m a few nights ago. They're just various song lyrics/titles. This chapter is somewhat filler, though it's also definitely helping to progress the story. We've skipped ahead in this one, we're now about a month and half into Alex's first semester, which is mentioned at the beginning of the chapter. I'd be writing this story forever if I did it day by day, and it would get repetitive and boring. I also roped a bit of lyrics into this one, I'm sorry for being so lame but I couldn't help myself.  
>   
> A few quick things just in case anyone reading doesn't understand:  
> -Slap happy is that mood you get in when you're insanely tired and you keep laughing at everything and saying nonsensical things.  
> -'Prozzie' is slang for a prostitute.  
> \- The sonnet Miles recites is obviously not mine, it's Shakespeare which is mentioned within the story, but I just want to make it clear that I'm not claiming it as my own words just in case, you know? :) 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!!!!! :) <333

Alex thoroughly enjoyed his first month and a half as a university student. The city was lovely, he was doing well in all of his classes, and he made a couple of new friends through both Nick and Matt; though the three of them had become the most closely knit. He loved the late nights they would share; sometimes wild, other times only some drinks accompanied by drunken chatter within their dorm rooms. Although he was ecstatic about all the new experiences he was having, the absolute best part about his new start was undoubtedly Miles.  
  
Alex was completely enraptured by the man, he was the most exhilarating person Alex had ever met. Miles pulled him out of his comfort zone every time they saw each other, and Alex was more than grateful for it. Every past lover of his couldn't compare, they were all much too ordinary. He soon found that Miles was also quite greedy when it came to sex. Not in the way one might expect, he was always sure to give Alex as much satisfaction as he took for himself, he just was a bit insatiable. It was essentially guaranteed that Alex would receive a text asking for him to come over to the professor's flat almost every day, and he was more than happy to indulge him.  
  
However, it never stopped with just meetings at his home, he brought the fun into school as well. There was the day when Miles practically dragged Alex into his office for a quick, impromptu make out session before class started, stopping only when he had successfully gotten Alex desperate for more. He flashed Alex a cheeky grin and left, walking off to class. When Alex entered the room moments later, he could see the professor attempting not to laugh at him.  
  
Of course, the instance that truly had Alex fervent was when he was in his maths class and obtained a series of salacious texts from the man, which continued on throughout the entire period. He was even more aroused by the knowledge that Miles himself was teaching his own class during the exchange. The professor didn't stop there though. After inquiring if Alex's excitement had leaked out into his briefs, to which Alex admitted that it had, he insisted that the student bring him his dampened underwear. Alex tentatively agreed after a bit of persuasion, waiting until Miles' students had shuffled out before delivering the briefs to him, which were then tucked away in the top drawer of his desk.  
  
Alex's main concern was not being able to with hold the truth from Matt for much longer. He knew his friend was onto him, that something was going on that Alex wasn't sharing. Matt never brought up the professor during his interrogations, but Alex still felt paranoid that he somehow knew anyway. He was never very good at hiding things, especially not from Matt. Alex sometimes suspected that his friend knew more about him than he himself did. Such was the case that Friday evening while the two of them were going over English notes.  
  
They were both sprawled out across Alex's bed; papers, books, and empty sweets wrappers scattered about. Matt wanted to copy some of Alex's notes from various lectures, as he always took better ones than he did. The Strokes played in the background as Matt scribbled away in his notebook. Alex laid his head back against the wall, fighting his eyelids desire to close when he heard Matt scoffing.  
  
“Fucking Shakespeare, I knew we'd have to learn more about him, didn't I? We got that enough in secondary school I thought.” he complained with an eye roll directed at the ceiling.  
“Hm. Just be thankful we're not doing anything involving Romeo and Juliet.”  
Matt made a sound of disgust as he proceeded to write notes down and rant. “Yes, thank fuck. You like Shakespeare though, and also English in general. We all know how I feel about it.”  
  
Alex nodded as he finally allowed his eyelids to win the previous battle, drifting off into a very light half sleep until he heard the beeping of his phone in his pocket. His eyes flew back open as he hastily reached into his pocket to dig the device out. He wasn't the least bit surprised to see that he had a message from Miles.  
  
_'Come to mine? I'll pick you up if you'd like.' ___  
Alex smiled as he typed back a quick reply.  
_'Okay, and no, I like the walk.' ___  
His phone beeped again soon after.  
_'Suit yourself. Just walk right in.' ___  
  
Alex shoved his phone back into his pocket and turned to Matt. “Hey, I'm gonna go out. I'll be back later, yeah?” he rushed out as he began looking for his shoes. Matt raised his head and watched Alex suspiciously. “Is that right? Where are you going?” Matt questioned, his eyes narrowing as he observed his friend spraying a small amount of cologne on himself before smoothing out his hair. Alex glanced over at Matt before shrugging halfheartedly.  
  
“Dunno yet.” he answered as he pulled on a pair of boots.  
Matt crossed his arms over his chest before badgering on. “Mhm. Are you going to meet with someone?”  
Alex rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation. “Are you me mum now, or what?” he fired back as he pulled his denim jacket on.  
  
“No, but you keep running off and I'm starting to worry about you. You're my best friend, I don't want anything bad to happen to you, I'd never forgive myself. You've been so secretive lately, we've never kept anything from each other before! Now you're doing it all the time. Just tell me the truth!” Matt exclaimed. He still looked angry but Alex was able to detect the hurt behind his facade. Guilt washed over him as he fidgeted with the buttons on his jacket. He walked over to Matt and sat beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder before explaining.  
  
“Look, I know you're mad at me for not being honest, but I can't be. It's nothing to do with you, Matt, I trust you with my life. I just can't say what I've been doing, I was asked not to. But I am safe, and I'm being careful. I promise I am.” Alex tried reassuring his friend, giving his shoulder a light squeeze.  
Matt slowly nodded his head and inspected the boy beside him. “Alright, but why can't you tell me? Oh God, Al, you're not a slag, are you? I know uni fees are a bit ridiculous but there's other ways, mate!!”  
  
Alex couldn't help but burst out laughing at the assumption. “No, I'm not whoring meself out! I promise.”  
Matt breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God. Well what is it, then? You're obviously meeting someone important, you put cologne on for Christ's sake... Wait, are you involved in an affair? Are you seeing a married man and you have to keep quiet so his wife doesn't find out!?”  
  
Alex laughed once again as he stood up. “No, he's not married.”  
Matt cocked his head and widened his eyes. “But you are seeing someone. You've got a secret lover.” he concluded as he waggled his brows.  
“I suppose, yeah. Not a lover though, just a friend.” Alex corrected him as he began moving towards the door, causing Matt to scoff.  
“You and this bloke shag, and yes he may be your friend, but he's your lover, too. You and I are friends, and we don't shag, so we're just friends.”  
  
Alex grinned as he grabbed the doorknob. “I'm much too pretty for you, mate. You couldn't handle all of this anyway.” he joked as he motioned up and down his body.  
Matt laughed rambunctiously at the remark. “All of what!? You're not bootylicious like bloody Beyonce! Your bum's like a pancake.”  
Alex's jaw dropped, feigning a look of disbelief as he placed his hands on hips. “Hey, I'm proud of what I've got! It's just enough. Besides, I'll have you know that my lover, as you say, quite likes my pancake bum. So piss off.”  
Matt's laughter grew louder as waved a hand in Alex's direction. “Yeah, I'm sure he does like it! Go on, get out, enjoy yourself. Just be careful.”  
Alex opened the door and turned his head towards Matt. “I will be, I swear.” The two boys smiled at each other before Alex stepped out the door and left.  
  
\-----------  
  
It was twilight by the time Alex reached Miles' flat, and he noticed that there didn't appear to be any light on in his home. He quickly twisted the door knob and walked inside, kicking off his boots and shrugging out of his jacket as he normally did. He wandered into the living room and found Miles sitting in a chair, staring out the window at the sky and smoking a cigarette. He glanced over at Alex and smiled, waving him over as he took a last drag on his cigarette and stubbed it out. Alex shuffled over to the chair and stood in front of Miles, holding his hair to the sides of his face as he bent down and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.  
  
“Come sit with me, love.” Miles requested. Alex nodded and slowly sat down on the professor's lap, leaning back against his chest and resting his head onto his shoulder. Miles snaked his arms around Alex's waist, and the pair were content to remain quiet for a few moments, until Miles spoke up.  
  
“I love looking at the stars. When I was younger, my mum used to recite this little poem to me, it went like; 'star light, star bright. First star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might. Have the wish, I wish tonight.' then you say, 'I wish...' and then you stop dramatically so you can make your wish silently.”  
Alex chuckled and ran his fingertips along Miles' knuckles. “What did you normally wish for?”  
  
Miles tightened his grip around Alex before muttering, “Oh, normal kid stuff. Toys and that...” He trailed off and was silent for a moment before continuing. “They're just beautiful though, aren't they? Shining so bright up there. Like you.”  
  
Alex huffed and shifted in Miles' lap so he could bury his face in the older man's shoulder. “Stop being so sappy.” he groaned.  
Miles laughed and reached up to run a finger through Alex's hair. “You're just too modest.” Miles countered, smoothing the student's hair back behind his ear before murmuring. _“And when he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars, and he will make the face of heaven so fine; that all the world will be in love with night, and pay no worship to the garish sun.” ___  
  
Alex peered up at the man and quirked a brow as he asked, “Are you actually trying to seduce me by reciting Shakespeare? You really are a sap.”  
Miles grinned down at him. “That depends on whether or not it's working. And hush, you're so quick to forget that I've seen some poetry you've written, I know just how much of a softie you are as well.”  
“Hm. I suppose so... Maybe it is working a little bit.” Alex admitted before adding. “Matt was just complaining about you assigning things involving Shakespeare before I left.”  
“Was he now?”  
  
Alex nodded. “Yeah, and we even mentioned that at least it wasn't Romeo and Juliet.”  
Miles laughed softly and ran his thumb up and down Alex's throat. “I may have to assign something having to do with it now just to piss him off.”  
“No 'cause then I'll have to hear about it!” Alex whined and tucked his head back into Miles' shoulder. Silence once again fell over the two of them until Alex suddenly asked, “Do you think I have a pancake bum?”  
  
“A what!?” Miles burst out, laughing as he went on. “What the hell do you mean by that? That's such a random thing to ask.”  
“Matt said I have a pancake bum so I just wanted to know what you thought of it.”  
Miles shook his head and tried to control his laughter. “No! I don't think you do at least. I like your bum very much, you should know that by now. You're beautiful, I like everything about you.”  
  
Alex glanced up at Miles, locking eyes with him and searching for confirmation. “Yeah?”  
“Of course, love. Now, how about I show you just how much I like it?” Miles purred as he slowly caressed Alex's thigh, his fingers dipping teasingly close to the line of his zipper.  
Alex smiled shyly before sinking his teeth down into his bottom lip. He gave a brisk nod and curled his hands around Miles' neck, slipping his fingers underneath the collar of his shirt. His gaze flickered down to the professor's lips before whispering, “Mhm. Show me.”  
  
Miles motioned for Alex to stand, to which he swiftly obliged. Alex squealed in surprise as Miles quickly stood and picked him up without any warning, tossing the slightly smaller man over his shoulder. Alex's boyish laughter echoed throughout the room, playfully slapping Miles' lower back as he was carried away into the bedroom.  
  
\--------------  
  
The pair sat up in bed as they partook in their post-sex ritual of a shared cigarette, Miles' back against the headboard and Alex leaning on Miles' chest. Alex was in complete bliss as he stretched his legs out and overlapped them on the professor's. Miles had an arm around Alex's shoulders and absentmindedly stroked his thumb along Alex's collarbone. He held the cigarette up to Alex's lips and watched as the student took a drag. Alex didn't cough anymore, but he still never felt much of an urge to smoke outside of his time with Miles. He suspected that he enjoyed the act of sharing one with Miles more than the cigarette itself. It was another fleeting thought of many he had that he was sure to shove to the darkest corners of his mind before dwelling too much on their meaning.  
  
“You make smoking look damn good, you know. You're that person every mother worries about their kid meeting since you make it seem so appealing.” Miles observed before taking the last hit and stubbing it out in the ashtray. He pushed back the hair sticking to Alex's face before trailing his fingers along his jawline.  
  
Alex smiled and shook his head. “No one sees me smoking except for you anyway. I won't be corrupting any vulnerable minds anytime soon.”  
The remark pulled a gravelly laugh out of the professor. “The kids of Liverpool are safe from that dangerous Turner lad for now.”  
Alex scrunched up his nose and giggled quietly. “You're from here, yeah?” he asked, suddenly anxious to know more about the man.  
“Eh, technically I'm from the Wirral, which is like... a borough. It's close by though.” Miles affirmed, making Alex hum in response. The younger man quickly added, “I'm from Sheffield meself.”  
  
“I figured as much, that dreadfully thick Yorkshire accent of yours gives you away.” Miles teased.  
Alex pouted his lips briefly before nipping at Miles' neck in retaliation, making him yelp. “Hey! I was only kidding, your voice is lovely to listen to! Also, I'm the one who gets to bite, not you.” Miles informed him as he lightly tugged on a strand of Alex's hair. Alex scoffed and gently poked Miles in the ribs. A comfortable silence fell over the pair for a few moments, just simply enjoying each others' company until Alex spoke up. “You're a Wirral Riddler.”  
  
Miles lowered his gaze and tilted his head in confusion. “A what?”  
Alex sat up and toyed with a ring on the professor's pinky. “You're a Wirral Riddler. 'Cause you're from the Wirral, and you're also so... Perplexing. An unsolved puzzle, like a riddle. You've built this illusion about yourself so you don't have to let people in, I think... It's got me on the edge of my seat, wanting to know what's behind it all.”  
  
Miles bit on the inside of his cheek as he snatched up his cigarette box and pulled one out, lighting it and taking a hit before responding, “I think you're reading a bit too deep into things and making a big deal out of it.”  
“I'm not making a big deal out of it, I'm only telling you what I think! I'm obviously right about at least some of it as I've clearly struck a nerve. I just thought maybe you could talk to me about it was all.” Alex retorted, his voice unintentionally raising.  
  
Miles rolled his eyes and took another drag off his cigarette. “You're just someone I fuck, Alex! I'm not going to sit here and spill my guts to you about anything!” Miles spat without thinking, though instantly wishing he could take the words back when he caught a glimpse at the way Alex's face fell.  
  
Alex ripped away from Miles' embrace and slid to the edge of the bed. “Yeah, I am. You're right, sorry for prying.” he mumbled, his tone slightly bitter as he felt around for his clothes.  
Miles wasted no time in riding himself of his cigarette before crawling up behind Alex, wrapping his arms around him and murmuring into his ear, “I'm so sorry, Alex. I never should have said that, it was terrible of me. Don't go.”  
  
Alex stiffened and tried to pull away. “I should be getting back anyway, it's already fairly late.”  
Miles tightened his grip and pressed a kiss to Alex's temple. “Stay here. You shouldn't be walking home this late and I'm not up for driving you. I really am sorry about what I said. I don't always think before I speak, and I say things I don't mean.” he explained, relief surging through him as he felt Alex's body relaxing in his arms. “Stay with me, love.”  
  
Alex turned back and eyed Miles suspiciously. “You've never asked me to sleep over before, I don't want you asking that of me if it's only because you feel bad and want to clear your conscience.”  
Miles shook his head and kissed the corner of Alex's mouth. “That's not it, I promise. I really want you to stay here. I was going to ask you anyway. It's been a long time since I've had a good cuddle, and you look perfect for that.”  
Alex raised a brow as his lips twitched upwards. “Oh, so you're using me for cuddles then, is that it?”  
  
Miles laughed and nodded his head. “Yup, you're onto me. Come on now, I'll even let you be the little spoon.” he proposed as he lay back on the bed, patting the empty space beside him. Alex chuckled and sighed dramatically. “Well, I guess so. How could I turn down an offer like that?” he joked as he reached for his trousers. “Just need to text Matt though so he doesn't panic.”  
Miles grinned as he stretched out his tired limbs. “He sure does worry about you a lot.”  
  
Alex finished typing out his message before sending it and tossing his phone on top of his jeans. “He just cares about me, we've been friends since we were little.” he clarified as he crawled into Miles' embrace, laying so his back was flush to the professor's chest.  
Miles hummed and pulled the hair away from Alex's nape before nuzzling against him, his arms slipping around his waist. “I think it's lovely, I'm glad he watches out for you...” he trailed off before asking, “Does he know about me?”  
  
Alex shifted closer and rested a hand over top Miles' arm. “He knows what happened at the club, he was the one insisting I let you approach me.” he laughed as he went on. “But other than that, no. He thinks I have some secret married lover. Well, first he thought I was a prozzie, actually. But yeah, that's what he seems to believe now, even though I said the person wasn't married; I don't think he quite believes me.”  
  
Miles cackled, the sound vibrating through Alex's body and making him feel a sudden rush of warmth. He curled his toes at the feeling before joining in with Miles. They laughed till their sides hurt, and Alex was beginning to suspect that they were slap happy. Once they finally calmed down, Miles gently kissed Alex, pulling away slightly as he whispered, “I love your laugh. You sound like a little goat, it's adorable.”  
  
Alex groaned and shoved his face into the pillows. “Shut up, I used to get made fun of about that all the time.” he complained, his voice muffled.  
“Aw, I wasn't making fun of you, I think it's cute.” Miles insisted as he laid his head back down.  
Alex readjusted his head and ran his fingers along Miles' wrist. “Yeah, yeah. Now, goodnight, you. I've had enough of your mouth.”  
Miles chuckled and kissed the back of Alex's neck. “Sure you have. But, as you wish. Night, love.”  
“Night, Mi.” Alex repeated, his voice much softer the second time around.  
  
  
As Alex slowly began drifting off, he noticed that he had never felt more at home than he did in Miles' arms. The realization both excited and terrified him.  



	7. Come a Little Closer, As The Night Gets Older

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas shopping with Matt, cuddles with Miles, and Alex makes a discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I have no idea how I managed to get another chapter out so quick, but here we are! There's another time jump here, it's now mid-December, and we're at the end of the first semester. I hope the jumps aren't bothering anyone, I just felt they were necessary to keep this going. This will be the last one though!  
> The only things I should probably mention are:  
> -The song Matt sings is All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey. It's pretty obvious, but I figured I'd let you all know just in case :)  
> -The song Miles sings is Soul Meets Body by Death Cab For Cutie. (I highly doubt he actually listens to them, but let's pretend for the sake of the fic.)
> 
> Lot's of singing in this one. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!! <33 :)

Alex absolutely despised shopping malls, the sentiment fueled by the fact that he was currently inside of one during the holiday season. He dreaded the noise, the people shoving past everyone else, the same ten Christmas songs blaring over the intercom. He loved the holiday itself, and the time spent with people he loved. He also adored all of the decorations, his favorite being the lights. (The colored ones in particular.) That was the one thing he did like about the Liverpool shopping center, they had an abundance of brightly lit decorations for him to admire. Matt wanted to get his shopping done before their break began, and had begged Alex to accompany him. He agreed only because he had some shopping of his own to attend to.  
  
“Do you think me mum would prefer a sweater or a brooch?” Matt asked as he held up the two items in question; a fluorescent yellow sweater and a brooch with three little angels on it.  
Alex's eyes flickered between the two. “If you got both she could wear them together.” he pointed out before looking away, blinking rapidly to soothe the ache from looking at the overly bright clothing. He thanked his lucky stars he wasn't Jill Helders.  
Matt pursed his lips as he considered Alex's suggestion. “Hm, very true. Good idea, Al. What are you getting for your mum?”  
Alex's mouth twisted as he looked around the room. “Eh, probably a figurine of some sort. A knick knack type of thing, she loves those.” he replied, turning back to face his friend.  
“I think I saw a place a little ways back that had some.” Matt informed him. “I'm going to pay and then we'll go have a look.” he added before walking towards the check out line.  
  
Alex reached into his pocket for his phone, wanting something to mess with while he waited on Matt. Once he managed to get the device out and glanced at the screen, he noticed he had two missed calls from Miles. His eyes darted over towards Matt, wondering whether or not he had enough time to quickly call him back. He soon decided he did, as his friend was fourth in line, and so he pressed the call button. He tapped his fingers against a display as he waited for the line to be picked up.  
  
“Al! Hi, love. I was beginning to think you were ignoring me!” Miles breathed, relief prominent in his voice.  
The corners of Alex's lips twitched upwards at the sound of the man's voice. “No, definitely not. I'm out with Matt and it's so damn loud in here, I didn't hear the phone ringing. I'm sorry.”  
“Don't apologize, it's alright. Anyway, I was hoping you could come by. When you're done of course.”  
“Mhm, I figured as much.”  
“Am I that obvious?” Miles asked, his laughter ringing in Alex's ear. He could see Miles' lopsided grin perfectly in his mind. “Only a little bit.” he assured, his voice soft.  
“You know...” Miles began. “You sound pretty sexy over the phone, Turner...”  
Alex chuckled.“Yeah? Am I turning you on, baby?” he drawled, lowering his voice to make it sound huskier. He smirked when he heard Miles squeak. “Christ, Al...”  
“Ooh, I think I am.” he cooed, wanting to tease the professor further.  
“Stop trying to have phone sex with me while you're in a public area, Alexander.” Miles scolded, though his amusement was very much evident.  
Alex giggled, quickly covering his mouth to muffle the sound before speaking. “Using my full name now, are we? It's fun working you up.”  
Miles sighed down the line. “What am I going to do with you?”  
Alex hummed, pretending to be deep in thought. “You could spank me again, over the dining room table this time. Or maybe the bed.”  
Miles coughed, practically choking. “Alex....” He groaned before sharply inhaling. “Fuck, Matt's not right there, is he!?” he exclaimed.  
Alex glanced over and noticed Matt was in fact walking towards him. “Shit, he's about to be. Gotta go, I'll text you when I'm on my way over. Bye, Mi!” he rushed out.  
Miles laughed, and Alex could imagine him shaking his head. “Bye, love.”  
  
Alex hit the end button and stuffed his phone back into his pocket as Matt approached him.  
“Who were you talking to?” Matt questioned as he did a quick check to ensure he had everything.  
Alex shook his hair out and smiled. “Cookie, he wanted to know when we'd be back.”  
Matt raised his eyebrows. “Really? That's funny, since I had that exact same conversation with him last night.”  
  
Alex stuttered, trying to form some type of explanation, but Matt cut him off. “It was that secret lover of yours, wasn't it?” The sudden flush in Alex's cheeks gave him his answer. “Uh-huh. I thought so. Come on, let's go pick out something for Penny.” he said, grabbing hold of Alex's elbow and leading him towards the shop he mentioned earlier.  
  
\-------------------  
  
The pair wandered throughout the shopping mall, chatting mindlessly as they tried to push themselves through the sea of people. Their shopping was just about completed, the only thing left being Alex finding a gift for Miles. He didn't really know if he should get him anything, but he couldn't resist it either way. He soon spotted a little shop in the corner that appeared to be filled with various odds and ends, and Alex decided to give it a look.  
  
“Let's go in there.” he called out to Matt, pointing in the direction of the store. Matt nodded and followed Alex over and into the shop.  
  
They were the only ones in the place, other than the teenage girl behind the counter who appeared bored out of her mind. She shot out a quick 'hello' to them before returning to her magazine. Matt ventured off as Alex eyed everything around him. There was anything from clothes to jewelry to books, and the rack holding all of the jewelry is where he settled on trying first. Miles seemed to enjoy wearing it, he almost always had a necklace and some type of ring on. He stalked over to the display and gazed at the various items. He slowly walked around the table until a particular ring caught his attention. It was golden, with a ruby red stone placed in the center. He picked it up and examined it closer. He was certain that Miles would love it. He heard the sound of heavy footsteps coming closer and so glanced up to see Matt with a lacy pink shawl wrapped around his shoulders. As soon as their eyes met, Matt immediately began mouthing along to the song playing in the store.  
  
_'I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know.' _He pretended to sing as he pointed at Alex and danced over to him.__  
“God, Matt, please stop.” Alex groaned as his eyes darted around, trying to see if anyone else was watching.  
_“Make my wish come true...” _Matt sang for real now as moved his head around to the music, grabbing Alex's arm. _“Baby, all I want for Christmas is you!” _he finished before laughing and continuing his ridiculous dance moves.____  
  
Alex finally cracked a smile at the sight, even joining in with his friend on the remaining lyrics until they heard a cough from behind the counter. They immediately stopped and looked at the cashier, her eyes wide and curious. Matt burst out laughing, which in turn set Alex off. She shook her head and looked away again as the two boys settled down. Matt noticed the ring in Alex's hand and snatched it away.  
  
“Ooh, what's this?” he questioned, a knowing smirk on his face.  
“Give it back!” Alex demanded as he tried wrestling it out of Matt's grip, but to no avail.  
Matt skimmed his eyes over the ring. “Isn't he the one who's supposed to buy you jewelry, since you're the mistress and all?”  
“I'm not a bloody mistress, how many times do I have to tell you that he's not married!?” Alex hissed as he finally managed to get the ring back.  
“I know, it's just funny to see how pissed off you get whenever I say it.” Matt said with a wide grin. “It's nice though, I'm sure he'll like it. Now go pay for it so we can get the hell out of here.” Alex nodded in agreement before going up to the register while Matt put the shawl back.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Alex burst through Miles' front door and quickly slammed it shut behind him, riding himself of his shoes and coat as usual before floating into the living room. He found Miles sitting on the couch, folding up the newspaper he had been reading as he glanced up at Alex and smiled.  
“Well hello there. You sure did make a racket coming in here.” he commented.  
Alex merely nodded and crawled into Miles' lap, flinging his arms around his shoulders and resting his head against his collarbone.  
Miles slipped his hands underneath Alex's shirt and gently rubbed his back. “You're certainly very cuddly today.” he spoke, his voice low. “Did you have a good time with Matt?” he asked.  
  
“Yeah, mostly. We were present shopping so there was a lot of crowds, I wasn't fond of that.” Alex mumbled.  
Miles kissed the top of his head and chuckled. “I can't imagine you'd enjoy that much.”  
Alex lifted his head and smiled. “I got you something.” he practically sang, watching Miles' face to gauge his reaction.  
Miles' brows shot up in surprise. “Did you now? You didn't have to get me anything, love.”  
“I know, but I wanted to.” Alex quickly replied, biting his lip. He almost sighed with relief when Miles grinned and gave him a brief kiss. “Well, aren't you sweet... I got you something too, actually.” the professor informed him, making Alex's eyes light up.  
  
“Really? What is it!?” he asked excitedly.  
Miles tapped the younger man's nose and shook his head. “Nope, not telling. You'll see on Christmas.”  
Alex pouted his lips. “But I'm going to be leaving and won't be here on Christmas.” he reminded Miles. “I go back home next week.”  
Miles lightly slapped his forehead. “Fuck, that's right! I forgot about that...” he clucked his tongue as he tried to think. “Alright, how about we have our own little Christmas sometime next week before you leave?” he suggested.  
Alex beamed. “Perfect.” he concurred, adoring the way Miles' eyes softened. “I'll miss you.” he admitted quietly.  
Miles gently squeezed Alex's sides and smiled weakly. “I'm afraid I'll be missing you quite a bit as well.”  
  
Alex felt butterflies in his stomach, and in response, tugged Miles into a chaste but sweet kiss. Alex pulled away and peppered the older man's face in little kisses until he was laughing. A thought crossed Alex's mind, and he abruptly leaned back so he could look Miles in the eye.  
“You're going to go home too, right?” Alex inquired as he searched Miles' face.  
“Oh. I'll probably drop by later on Christmas day, yeah.” Miles answered, his brow furrowed.  
“Promise me you will, Mi. I'm sure your parents want to see you.” Alex pressed on.  
“Well... Yes, you're right. Mum would probably have my head... Why are you so concerned about it though?”  
Alex ran his thumbs along Miles' jawline and shrugged. “Because I don't want you to be alone.”  
Miles cocked his head and smiled. “Alright, I promise.” he agreed, much to Alex's delight.  
  
“Good.” Alex affirmed as he looked around the room. “Why don't you have a tree up yet?”  
Miles grunted and shifted under Alex. “I've got one of the fake ones in a closet somewhere, I just never have the energy to drag it out or anything.”  
  
Alex pulled away slightly and gasped in mock horror. “You have to have a tree, Miles, that is the number one rule of Christmas!” he insisted, his eyes wide.  
  
“Come on, Al, I don't want to deal with it.” Miles groaned and laid his head back against the couch.  
Alex grabbed Miles shoulders and gently shook him. “Miiiles! You need to have a tree! Please? We can decorate it together, I used to do that with me mum but I didn't get to this year. Please, Miles!?” Alex begged.  
“Alex, no.” Miles grumbled.  
  
“Miiii...” he whined, sticking out his bottom lip and making puppy dog eyes at the man.  
Miles sighed and threw his hands up in defeat. “Alright, alright! If it will make you happy, we'll put up the tree.”  
Alex smiled in triumph and pecked Miles' lips. “Thank you!” he squeaked in excitement, pushing himself up and off of Miles so they could start.  
Miles stood and patted the student's shoulder. “You're welcome, laa. Even though you don't fight fair at all, no one could ever resist those eyes.” he complained.  
  
"I know." Alex stated, smirking and wiggling his eyebrows.  
Miles rolled his eyes, though he was smiling. He kissed Alex's temple before walking off to find the tree.  
  
\-------------------------  
  
It was around midnight when Miles noticed that Alex had fallen asleep on the couch, his body stretched out and his head in Miles' lap. They had ordered a pizza and spent the evening watching various made for TV movies, though most of the time was spent talking over the television. Miles ruffled Alex's hair and contemplated how to stand without waking him. He realized he'd have to just move slowly and hope for the best. He shut the TV off and used the glow from the lights on the tree as his guide, gently cradling Alex's face as he inched off of the couch.  
  
When he got close enough to the edge, he lowered his hands down until the younger man's head touched the cushion, and slowly slipped his hands away. Alex stirred and let out a soft sigh, but didn't wake up. Miles stood and went into his room to grab a spare blanket. He walked back into the living room and covered Alex with it, tucking it in around the sides to ensure he'd be warm enough. He bent down and pushed the hair out of the sleeping boy's face, admiring how peaceful he looked. Without thinking, he leaned in and kissed him, making sure not to apply much pressure. He pulled back and smiled before straightening up and moving towards his bedroom. Just as he reached the doorway, he heard Alex from behind him.  
  
“Mi?” he croaked, his voice soft and scratchy.  
Miles immediately turned back around and went to Alex's side. “Hi, love.” Miles whispered, watching the way he rapidly blinked in slight confusion.  
  
“Where are you going?” Alex asked, his eyelids drooping.  
“I was about to go to bed. You fell asleep while we were watching telly and I didn't want to wake you, but I ended up doing that anyway.” he answered and laughed quietly.  
  
Alex hummed and sat up. “Can I come to bed with you?”  
“Of course you can, sweetheart; I assumed you would now that you're awake.”  
  
A slow, sleepy smile spread across Alex's face as Miles stood and shut the lights on the tree off. “Don't want to burn the place down.” he muttered to himself more than anything, but still he heard Alex giggle from the couch.  
“Will you carry me?” he asked as Miles approached him. The older man smiled and nodded, bending down to scoop Alex up in his arms. Alex wrapped his arms around Miles' neck and laid his head on his shoulder.  
  
When they reached the bedroom, Miles carefully placed Alex onto the bed and quickly stripped down to his boxers. He moved to the side where Alex lie and repeated the process on him, with Alex wiggling around in an attempt to help. Miles slid in beside him and pulled the covers up and over them before settling on his back. Seconds later he felt Alex inching closer, till he was pressed against Miles' side. Alex turned over onto his stomach and rested his head onto the professor's chest, his arm thrown over him. Miles slipped an arm around Alex's waist and the other around his shoulders, his thumbs rubbing circles into the younger man's warm skin.  
  
“Thank you for getting your tree out for me.” Alex said, his voice barely above a whisper.  
Miles shrugged slightly. “It made you happy, so... It wasn't any trouble, I just like giving you a hard time.”  
“Still appreciate it though.” Alex mumbled, already feeling sleep closing in.  
“Shh, I know, baby. Go to sleep now, I can tell how tired you are.”  
  
“Okay.” Alex whispered. He then decided he wanted a kiss goodnight. He tilted his head up until Miles came into focus and puckered up his lips, his only indication of what he wanted. Miles chuckled and took the hint, pressing a gentle kiss to Alex's lips, and another on his forehead.  
“Night, Al.”  
“Mhm.” Alex hummed in response.  
  
Miles rubbed the boy's back until he was certain he had fallen asleep before allowing himself to do the same.  
  
\-------------------------  
  
Alex woke the next morning in an empty bed. This was nothing out of the ordinary, Miles would often wake up before he ever did. He stretched out his limbs and yawned, rubbing his eyes before sitting up. He fleeting wondered where Miles was until he noticed the smell of bacon wafting throughout the air. He scooted out of the bed and walked over to Miles' closet, wanting to find something comfy to wear. He pulled the doors open and peered inside, coming face to face with a sea of suits and dress shirts of almost any color and pattern you could imagine.  
  
“Does he own any normal fucking clothes?” Alex muttered under his breath as he began pushing things aside. Finally, at the very end of the rack, he found a few t-shirts and sweatpants. He grabbed the first of each that he saw and tugged them on, pulling his hair out from the collar of his shirt as he headed towards the kitchen.  
  
Miles was standing at the stove in only his boxers, flipping bacon and frying eggs while the radio played in the background. Alex grinned and came up behind him, kissing his neck and resting his hands on his hips.  
  
“Morning, laa. I see you stole some of my clothes.” Miles commented as he turned the bacon over.  
“Indeed. And why aren't you dressed properly? Aren't you worried about the grease burning you?” Alex questioned while lightly raking his nails up and down Miles' stomach.  
  
Miles shot the younger man a quick grin before announcing, “I laugh in the face of danger!” followed by a fake, overly exaggerated laugh.  
“Really, Miles? Lion King references? God, weren't you an adult already by the time that movie came out!?” Alex playfully teased.  
Miles genuinely laughed and nodded. “I was. But I used to look after my cousin from time to time, and she was obsessed with the thing. Watched it at least a hundred times, I did.”  
  
Alex laughed and rested his chin on Miles' shoulder. “Need help with anything?” he asked.  
“No, love. I'm almost done, so you go sit down and I'll bring it to you.”  
  
“Alright.” Alex agreed, kissing Miles' cheek before settling himself into one of the chairs at the table. He sat sideways so he could continue to watch the professor as he finished cooking, singing along to a song on the radio. Only a minute or so more and Miles was dishing up the food onto two plates and walking towards Alex. He faced forward in his seat as he heard the older man approaching.  
  
Miles set Alex's plate down in front of him and leaned in close, quietly singing into his ear. _"So brown eyes I'll hold you near, 'cause you're the only song I want to hear. A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere." _Miles kissed Alex's jaw once he finished his singing and sat down in the chair next to him.__  
  
Alex was smiling stupidly at his plate, his hair beginning to fall into his eyes. He suddenly felt shy, as if he had been transported right back to the first days when he met Miles. He swore he could feel an odd tugging in his heart.  
  
“Aw, baby, look at you. It's been a long time since you've acted like that.” Miles acknowledged, before taking a bite of his food.  
Alex sighed and stabbed at his eggs, stuffing a forkful into his mouth in order to avoid saying anything. He felt Miles' hand slide onto his knee.  
“You alright? I didn't mean to make you feel awkward or anything, I was just singing the song.” Miles said before taking another bite.  
  
Alex blinked a bit rapidly and shook his head slightly. “I know, I've no idea what got into me. I'm fine now.” Alex assured him before adding, “Hey, remember that day I came into your classroom before class started and we talked?”  
Miles chewed his food and scanned the wall, nodding as he swallowed. “Well, I remember you trying to seduce me.” he answered, smile plastered on his face.  
  
Alex rolled his eyes. “Yes, well, I never told you, but I walked into the room and caught you singing and dancing to Rihanna.” Alex confessed before eating a slice of bacon.  
  
Miles dropped his fork down onto his plate and gaped at Alex. “You saw that? How!? I never heard you!”  
Alex swallowed his mouthful of eggs, smiling apologetically. “I was really quiet about it.”  
“Oh, God.” Miles groaned and covered his face with his hands.  
  
Alex rubbed his shoulder soothingly. “I thought it was cute... And yeah, pretty fucking funny. But mostly cute. I was mad for your voice, still am.” he told him. He almost gasped at the sight of Miles actually blushing.  
  
“Right... Well, I'm now completely mortified that you saw that... I hope you haven't been judging me too harshly over it.” Miles spluttered, his face still hiding behind his hands.  
  
Alex reached over and locked his hands around the professor's wrists. “Don't be embarrassed. Everyone has silly pop songs that they like. I pretty much know Avril Lavigne's first album by heart.” he admitted.  
Miles dropped his hands and laughed. “Ah, I suppose you're right.” Miles agreed, rising out of his seat and grabbing his plate.  
“You're done already?” Alex questioned in surprise.  
  
Miles nodded and leaned in close to Alex's ear. “I'm thinking of taking a shower, and you're more than welcome to join me.” he murmured before nipping on the younger man's lobe, making him softly moan. He smirked and went to place his plate in the sink. Alex rushed up and did the same.  
  
“You better make sure you've got a good grip on me if you intend to have shower sex. I don't fancy the idea of being dropped.” Alex warned him, giving him a pointed look.  
  
Miles shook his head and kissed Alex's brow. “I'm not going to drop you, I never have before.” he promised. “Come on!” Miles called as he hastily picked Alex up.  
  
“Mi!” Alex yelled, his laughter soon following. His legs locked around Miles' hips, his arms draped over his shoulders.  
Miles grinned lopsidedly before gushing, “You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, you know. On the inside, as well. You're just so damn lovely.”  
  
Alex felt breathless, his eyes shining bright as he beamed at Miles. Butterflies once gain fluttered away deep within the pit his stomach as the strange pulling in his heart swiftly made it's return. That was all it took for everything to suddenly hit Alex like a tidal wave. The unfamiliar little sensations, all the thoughts he tried desperately to not read into, the way it seemed as though he was finally waking up after being asleep for almost twenty years.  
  
  
Alex was in love with Miles.  
  
  
He also was, without a doubt, completely and utterly fucked.  
  



	8. I Could Follow You to the Beginning, Just to Relive the Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have their final exams, and Miles and Alex have a talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really the only thing I have to say for this chapter is, I am so sorry, and I hope you don't hate me too much.  
> Enjoy! <333

“Al... Alex... Aly Wally... Lexi...”  
Alex threw his pen down onto the bed and whipped his head around. “What, Matthew?!” he snapped.  
“You should go to that bakery a few streets down and get some pastries. I need brain food if we're going to keep studying for exams.” Matt explained.  
  
Alex narrowed his eyes and sighed. “And why is it you can't get them yourself?”  
“I'm busy studying.” Matt said as he gestured towards his books.  
“Well what the fuck do you think I'm doing?!” Alex roared.  
Matt laughed and rummaged through his bag. “I know, but you love me.”  
Alex stared, his face blank. “What makes you think that?”  
  
“Oh shut it, I know you do. Will you go? Pretty please?” Matt begged.  
“Alright, fine, you lazy git.” Alex gave in as he pushed aside his books and got off the bed.  
Matt held out the money to cover the costs. “Thank you, princess.”  
“Mhm. It's already four p.m, so don't get angry with me if they don't have anything good.” Alex warned him, stuffing the money into his pocket before slipping his shoes on.  
  
Matt shook his head and held up his pinkie. “I won't, I pinkie promise.”  
Alex laughed and quickly pulled his coat on, wrapping a scarf around his neck as he walked towards the door.  
“Thank you!” Matt called out once more as he left the room.  
  
\------------  
  
It was a cold afternoon, the bite of the wind nipping at Alex's cheeks as he briskly walked to the bakery. He pulled his scarf a bit tighter around him and continued his stride. He hoped that it would snow, he held out for a white Christmas every year. Still, he didn't particularly like walking in the cold. He was relieved to see his destination on the corner and picked up the pace. He glanced in though the window as he approached the doors, and what he saw made him stop dead in his tracks.  
  
Miles was sat in a booth, and although his back faced away from doors, Alex knew it was him. He had become all too familiar with the man, from every angle. However, it was the brunette woman seated beside him that had Alex hesitating to go any further. She looked an awful lot like the teacher who came into Miles' classroom and flirted with him. Alex saw the woman wrap her arms around Miles' waist and rest her head against his shoulder. He knew he shouldn't spy on them, he already could feel the guilt trickling in, but he couldn't bring himself to do anything but stand still and watch. It was only when Miles returned the gesture by slipping an arm around her shoulders and placing his head over top hers that Alex suddenly regained his ability to move. He felt a twisting in his stomach as he stepped backwards. Finally, he ripped his gaze away from the couple and whirled around, bolting down the street and away from the bakery.  
  
Alex went in the opposite direction of the dorms, needing time alone to process his thoughts. He saw a cathedral nearby and, unsure of where else to go, settled for sitting on the steps leading up to its entrance. He sat down and slowly rubbed his hands over his face. Alex didn't know what to make of the situation. Deep down he knew he really had no right to be upset about it, he and Miles weren't a couple. Still, he couldn't help but feel a bit sick to his stomach, a gut wrenching combination of jealousy and hurt. He twisted his hands in his lap and got a sudden craving for a cigarette. The thought caused him to laugh, an empty and bitter sound.  
  
He felt weak, and he hated himself for it. He hated that he had let his feelings overtake him, that he had failed at keeping them tightly locked away in his heart where they belonged. He chastised himself for agreeing to the whole arrangement in the first place. Alex knew better, he was painfully aware that he wouldn't be able to ignore the way he felt. He let out a shaky breath just as his phone began to ring. He dug it out of his pocket and glanced at the caller I.d, seeing that it was Matt. He knew his friend was more than likely beginning to worry, but he chose to ignore the call anyway. He put his phone on silent before shoving it back into his pocket.  
  
\---------------  
  
Alex wasn't sure how long he sat there, it could have been minutes or hours, but the odd looks visitors at the cathedral were starting to give him were enough to make him want to leave. He pushed himself up and started trudging back to the university. He felt a bit nauseous when he passed by the bakery, though after quickly sweeping his eyes around the inside, he saw that Miles and the woman were gone. Alex didn't know whether or not that was a good or a bad thing. He would genuinely be sick if Miles took her to his, especially now that he foolishly looked at it as their own safe haven from the rest of the world. Once he spotted the campus he forced himself to run, he was desperate for a drink and had remembered the bottle of whiskey Matt had under his bed. The quicker he made it there the better, his thoughts were eating him alive and he needed to silence them.  
  
He raced inside the building and to the staircase, thankful that no one appeared to be around for him to run into. He made it to the third floor where his dorm was and rushed to the door, panting and fumbling with the doorknob. He could hear the muffled sounds of Matt speaking from inside the room. He shoved the door open and hurried inside, flinging it back closed behind him.  
  
“Fucking hell Alex, where the fuck have you been?! Why haven't you answered your phone?! I was about ready to call your parents!” Matt bellowed, tossing his own phone down onto his bed and trying to reach out for his friend. Alex shrugged him away and dropped down onto his knees in front of Matt's bed. He pushed his arm underneath the frame and felt around. He sighed happily when he touched the bottle, and he wrapped his hand around the neck of it and dragged it out. He sat back on his haunches as he unscrewed the cap and took a rather large gulp, wincing from the burning in his throat as the liquid went down.  
  
“Jesus Alex, what are you doing?! It's been two hours, what happened?!” Matt tried again as he sat down beside the silent boy. “Al...?”  
“I fucked up, Matt.” Alex finally spoke before taking another swig of whiskey. He coughed as he sat himself down completely on the floor, his back against Matt's bed and his legs stretched out in front of him. “I was supposed to just have fun, I wasn't supposed to feel things.”  
  
Matt shook his head and moved next to Alex. “I don't understand what you're talking about.”  
“I saw him with some woman, I think it was that history professor, but I dunno. They didn't kiss or anything, not that I know of. But it just looked so... intimate. Like he is with me.” Alex babbled, closing his eyes as he went on. “I feel stupid for being upset about it, it's really not cheating even if there is something going on. And I don't even know if cuddling would be considered cheating either way. It still hurts though... I'm a bloody idiot, Matt.”  
  
Matt wrapped his arm around Alex's shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. “Who is this? I still don't really get what you're on about.” he asked.  
Alex opened his eyes and took another gulp from the bottle. “The secret lover, as you say. We were supposed to be just friends with benefits, but I fell for him like I knew I would. I just... wanted him, and was willing to take whatever I could get. And of course now I want more than he's willing to give.”  
  
Matt nodded slowly. “Okay... How do you know he doesn't feel the same way about you?” he inquired, turning to face Alex.  
  
Alex smiled weakly. “Sometimes I feel like he does, I really do. He says things and looks at me a certain way... But I think I've been making something out of nothing. He can't love me, he was the one who insisted we don't develop feelings or have a title, all that shit.” he surmised. “He flirted with her another time, too. It was before class started and he said it didn't mean anything, but I'm starting to doubt that. I'm starting to doubt pretty much everything.”  
  
Matt pulled away from Alex and moved in front of the boy. “Wait... Before class? History professor? Oh God. It's fucking Kane, isn't it?! You've been seeing professor Kane and that's why you've been so secretive!” Matt exclaimed, his eyes wide.  
Alex sighed and nodded. “Yeah, Miles. I'm sorry I kept it from you, he just didn't want anyone thinking I was getting special treatment in class.”  
“It's alright, mate. I get it. I just... What an absolute fucking mess this is.”  
Alex groaned and looked to the floor. “I know, like I said, I fucked up.”  
  
Matt grabbed Alex by the chin, forcing his friend to look up and meet his eyes. “No Al, you didn't. Falling in love isn't a crime, there's nothing wrong with you for it. But you need to talk to him, you can't hide this shit and ignore it. Stop assuming he doesn't return your feelings just because you think you failed. I know that's what's holding you back. You feel like you didn't follow the so called rules and now you think you're weak because of it. You're not, Alex. Talk to him.”  
  
Alex stared at Matt, taking his words in before he stood abruptly. “I'm going to go to his. You're right.” he announced.  
“I'm always right. But, I kind of meant tomorrow or summat. Those weren't small sips you drank.” Matt commented, a nervous lift in his voice.  
Alex smiled and took one more swig. “Nah, I'll be fine. Just some liquid confidence.” He set the bottle down on the dresser and practically ran to the door. “Thank you, Matt. I really don't know what I'd do without you.”  
Matt nodded. “You're welcome. And I honestly don't know what you'd do without me either.”  
Alex grinned and waved goodbye before making his way out the door.  
  
\-----------------  
  
He paced nervously outside of Miles' front door. What if Miles brought her home with him? Alex didn't know how he'd be able to handle such a thing. He knew it couldn't be the other way around, Miles' car was in the driveway and he could see lights from his tree illuminating the windows. He thought it was wise to not walk right in as he normally would, with the fear of Miles not being alone flaring up. He timidly knocked on the door and waited for a response. A minute or so passed by with no answer, and Alex's anxiety was almost crippling. He knocked once more, louder this time, and blew out his breath when he could hear Miles shouting from inside. “I'm coming, I'm coming!” Alex jumped slightly when the door suddenly flew open.  
  
“Al! I've been trying to reach you for hours! Come in, love.” Miles said, ushering him inside. “Why'd you knock? You know you can always just walk in.”  
  
Alex ignored the statement and walked into the living room, not bothering with taking off his shoes and coat. He stood in the middle of the room and looked over at the tree. He noticed that two presents now sat underneath it; a big, flat box, with a much smaller square one on top.  
  
“They're both yours, I couldn't help myself.” Miles murmured, as his arms snaked around Alex's waist. He lifted a hand and pulled back the younger's hair, kissing his cheek before nuzzling into his neck. “Why are you so quiet? Normally I can't get you to shut up.” Miles gently teased. He paused before asking, “Were you at a bar? You smell like alcohol.”  
  
“Are you seeing that teacher?!” Alex blurted out, ignoring the professor's question and pulling himself out of his embrace as he turned to face him.  
  
Miles cocked his head and furrowed his brow. “What?”  
“That lady who teaches with you at uni. I saw you with her earlier in the bakery.” Alex informed him. “Well, I think it was her.”  
  
Miles smiled and shook his head. “She just broke up with her boyfriend, we met up so she could vent and cry and let it all out.” he explained, taking a step closer to Alex. “We're only friends, love, nothing more. You know that.” He cupped the student's face, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs before pulling him into a kiss.  
  
Alex's arms remained limp at his sides, and he was unable to bring himself to kiss Miles back, nor was he able to stop him. Only when he felt Miles' tongue push past his lips and slide along his own did he finally pull away from the older man.  
  
“We need to talk.” Alex insisted as he walked over to the couch and dropped down onto it.  
Miles sighed and turned to look at him. “Sweetheart, I've already told you multiple times, Tinna is just-”  
“That's not what I want to talk about.” Alex said, cutting Miles off. “I believe you about her. But there's something I need to tell you.”  
“Oh? What is it?” Miles asked as he sat down beside Alex.  
  
Alex fixed his gaze on the tree and was silent for a moment. He felt Miles' hand soothingly rub up and down his arm. With a deep breath, he mumbled, “I love you.” before averting his eyes back towards the professor.  
  
Miles froze, his eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. “You... You what?” he questioned, his voice shaking.  
“I'm in love with you.” Alex repeated, without a single drop of hesitance as he looked Miles dead in the eye.  
“I... Let's just go lay down, yeah? You've been drinking and I'm tired tonight. Let's just...” Miles trailed off as he rubbed his temples.  
Alex scoffed. “Yeah I drank a little bit, but I'm not drunk. I know what I'm saying. And even if I was, I'd still mean every word of it.”  
  
Miles laid his head in his hands. “Alex... I don't know what to say.” he said, continuing to mutter incoherently before settling on, “We can't do this.”  
  
Alex shrugged. “Why not? The term's over tomorrow, and then I won't be in your class anymore. What else is stopping us?”  
“Because. Fuck, this wasn't supposed to happen.” Miles groaned as he shook his head. “Alex, I don't fe-”  
  
“Don't.” Alex snarled, interrupting the older man and making his head snap up. “Don't you fucking give me that. Maybe I'm a bit naïve, but I'm not daft. I refuse to have you sit here and tell me you feel nothing for me. Admittedly, I thought you didn't, but on the way here I really forced meself to think about it and... There's something here between us, Miles, I can't be the only one who feels it.” he said, his voice firm.  
  
Miles stayed silent as he gawked at the younger man. Alex bit his lip and moved closer, slipping his arms around the professor's torso. Miles leaned into the contact, but still said nothing. Alex decided to try and get the ball rolling, though he felt his previous confidence dropping. “Do... Do you love me, Mi?” he whispered, his eyes fluttering shut as he pressed his forehead against Miles' temple. He gently rocked Miles back and forth in his arms, trying to coax an answer out of him.  
  
“I can't make you happy... I'm sorry, Al.” Miles finally spoke, his voice soft and distant.  
  
Alex pulled back and stood, ripping himself away from Miles as he tried to clutch Alex's hand. “So that's it? You're not going to give me an explanation why? You won't even be honest with me and answer my question... Maybe I was mistaken, maybe you don't feel the way I do, but at least have the fucking balls to admit it!” Alex hollered, not caring for an instant about the neighbors. He glared down at Miles until the man hung his head, for what he wasn't sure anymore. He took a deep breath, calming himself before going on,“But no, instead you try to feed me some bullshit about how you can't make me happy, when clearly you can, you have been since I met you... I wouldn't love you if I weren't happy around you.”  
  
He waited for Miles to look at him; to speak, scream at him, kiss him, to do anything at all. But the man had appeared to just completely shut down, making Alex grow frustrated. “You aren't going to talk?! Of all the times... Where's that lad who's always got something to say, hm? He always has a quick remark to everything. I want him. I need him right now, Miles. Please talk to me.” Alex begged, getting on his knees and cradling Miles' face. “Talk to me, baby. It's okay, you can tell me anything.” Alex prodded, his thumb tracing over the older's bottom lip. “Come on, honey, you're safe with me.”  
  
“I don't want to talk about it.” Miles finally mumbled. Alex dropped his hands from Miles' face and stared at the floor. He felt defeated, like every word he had spoken went completely unheard. The pair sat in an unbearable silence until Alex stood back up.  
  
“So I guess this is it, right?” he murmured before gnawing the inside of his cheek, ignoring the metallic taste from his blood on his tongue. He once more waited for Miles to say something, but the man did nothing but keep his eyes focused on the floor as he twisted his hands in his lap. Alex was left with no other choice than to accept that as his answer.  
  
Alex pressed his lips into a thin line and nodded his head. “Okay... It's over, then.” he concluded, though it sounded more like a question rather than a statement. He took one last glimpse at Miles before turning away and going back towards the door. He touched the knob and waited a few seconds more, hoping Miles would call out for him and ask him to stay. He heard nothing but deafening silence ringing through his ears, and so slowly opened the door and proceeded to leave with a heavy heart.  
  
He spent the entire walk home wishing he kissed Miles back with everything he had, that he had held him as tightly as he could. He wished he'd known it would be their last, so he could have taken the time to memorize it all.  
  
\-------------------  
  
That following afternoon had Alex sitting in his usual place in Miles' classroom as he waited to take his last final. He'd rather be doing anything else than having to be in the same room as the man, but he unfortunately had no other choice. He'd spent the previous night lying in bed as he stared at the ceiling, his head swimming with thoughts and memories. He was quiet that day, more so than usual. When Matt had asked him how he was feeling, really the only thing Alex could come up with was, 'numb.' He thought it would be better for everyone if he simply suppressed his emotions and spoke as little as possible, at least for the time being.  
  
Miles came into the classroom fifteen minutes past the usual start time of the class period, and Alex was a bit shell shocked by his appearance. Gone were his usual fresh, clean suits, and instead he wore a ratty t-shirt and ripped up jeans. His hair was everywhere, and Alex could tell that he had most likely been running his hands through it, which he had picked up on as something Miles did when he was stressed. He had dark circles under his eyes, and Alex wondered if he had slept at all the previous night. He wouldn't have been the only one.  
  
“Sorry about the wait. Kate, please pass these out. Put them on my desk when you're done and you can leave.” Miles called out, his words just a tad bit slurred. Alex started to worry if perhaps he was drunk already at one in the afternoon. He dropped his gaze to his desk, unable to watch the man any longer. “He looks like absolute hell.” Matt whispered as their exams were handed to them. Alex said nothing in response, only chewed on his bottom lip.  
  
\----------------------  
  
Alex could feel the professor's eyes on him for the entirety of his exam, making him shift around in his seat every ten seconds and fight the urge to look up. When he was finished, he sat and contemplated whether or not to wait for Matt so he wouldn't have to walk up to Miles' desk by himself. However, he was desperate to get out of there as soon as possible, and so decided to suck it up and go alone. He stood and flung his bag over his shoulder before grabbing his exam and making his descent down the stairs. Alex kept his head down for the whole duration, and when he reached the professor's desk, he was quick to drop his test onto the pile of others near the edge.  
  
“Alex.” Miles whispered, and the younger almost snapped his gaze up to the man, but caught himself before he did. His mouth twisted slightly and he turned away towards the door. He then heard small footsteps coming up behind him, and the familiar scent of Miles' cologne and stale cigarette smoke filled the air surrounding him. Alex was a bit surprised by Miles' pursuit, considering they were in the classroom with other students present, and he faltered slightly before stepping out the door. He took two steps forward before feeling a sudden warmth around his left wrist.  
  
“Alex, can we talk?” Miles asked, his voice hushed and uneasy.  
Alex stared down at Miles' hand clutching his wrist and shook his head. “I gave you plenty of time to talk yesterday, you should have done it then... I tried and you shut me out.”  
  
Miles held tighter onto Alex, scared that the boy would disappear if he didn't. “Please come over later, I want to talk now.” he insisted.  
Alex closed his eyes and sighed. “I need to go, I'm leaving early for home in a couple of hours.”  
  
“Don't go, love. Not yet.” Miles pleaded, his voice warbling.  
“You shouldn't be touching me, someone might see us. And you're too late, like I said, I'm leaving soon. Please let go of me.” Alex said before trying to escape Miles' grip.  
  
“Al, come on... I'm so sorry.” Miles tried again, sounding almost hysteric.  
“Let me go.” Alex calmly replied. He didn't have the energy to put up a fight and hoped Miles would listen. He blew out his breath as Miles gently released Alex's wrist, his fingers slowly sliding along the soft skin.  
  
Alex looked up at the man then, carefully going over every detail of his face before finally meeting his eye. “Goodbye, Miles.” he murmured.  
“Al...” Miles whispered as he tried reaching out for the student once again.  
  
Alex's lips turned up slightly in a small, sad, smile. He swiftly turned around and went back towards his dorm, leaving Miles to watch helplessly as the best thing he'd ever had slipped away from him.  



	9. You've Got A lot To Say For the One Who Pushed Me Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex goes home, and Miles has a confrontation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This chapter ended up being pretty lengthy, and for that I apologize. Other than that, I hope you all enjoy! <33

Alex fumbled around the room as he gathered up everything he'd need for his visit back home. He shoved clothes into his duffel bag, not caring about organization as he normally would. Miles' face was at the forefront of his mind as he packed, his words still ringing in his ears. He groaned and crammed in a pair of boots. He opened his bedside drawer to retrieve his notebook, and when he pulled it out, he noticed the present he bought for Miles sitting underneath it. He bit his lip and slowly picked it up as well, carefully placing it between layers of clothing so it would be safe. He tucked his notebook into the side and zipped the bag shut just as Matt walked through the door.  
  
“So you really are leaving today?” Matt asked as he dropped his backpack to the floor and sat on Alex's bed.  
Alex nodded and sat beside him. “Yeah, I just want to go home.”  
“Well, we're all gonna miss you tomorrow at the pub.” Matt said as he pat Alex's back. “I'll be back Wednesday night and we can see each other then, maybe meet up with Andy and Cookie too.”  
  
“Yeah, maybe.” Alex answered despondently as he stared at the wall in front of him.  
“What did Kane talk to you about? I can't believe he actually chased after you. I think I'm the only one who noticed though...”  
  
Alex wrung his hands together and looked to the floor. “Please don't talk about that.”  
Matt pat his back once more and stood, walking over to his own bed and sitting down. “You can't hold everything in like you've been trying to do. It's not good for you, mate. It's going to be worse in the end if you try to forget it ever happened rather than deal with it.”  
“I am dealing with it.” Alex insisted as he fidgeted with the zipper on his bag.  
  
“No, you're not. You're just shutting down completely. Have you done anything other than stare off into space and barely speak since this happened?” Matt questioned.  
Alex rolled his eyes. “I don't talk much either way, Matthew.”  
“Yeah but nothing like how you have been! It's like you're not even here. Have you vented about it at all? Screamed or punched something?! Have you even cried?!” Matt exclaimed.  
  
“Why should I?! It's not like he's crying or missing me! I'm sure he's just upset because I won't be here for him to fuck anymore.” Alex burst out.  
Matt shook his head. “You can't possibly believe that. He came after you today.”  
  
Alex shrugged his shoulders and twisted a strand of hair around his index finger. “I don't care. Doesn't mean anything... He probably planned to say just enough to get me to shut up so that way he could get what he wants.”  
“I doubt that, Al.” Matt gently insisted.  
Alex's eyes shot up to meet Matt's. “And why is that, exactly?”  
  
Matt sighed and rubbed his forehead. “I wasn't going to mention this, but... He was a wreck when he came back into the classroom. He sat with his head on his desk for the rest of the class. He wouldn't talk or look at anybody, and I swear I heard sniffling...”  
“I don't want to hear about that!” Alex snapped.  
“Why not? I thought you didn't care?” Matt taunted.  
  
Alex pushed his hair out of his face and stared out of the window. “Of course I fucking care, alright? I just wish I didn't. But I still don't want to hear anything like that.”  
  
Matt twisted his mouth and nodded. “All I meant by it is that I think you may be jumping to conclusions a bit. I'm not telling you to make up with him, I understand why you're upset, Al. It was shitty of him to just ignore the whole situation like that... But, I have a hard time believing he'd act that way over someone he only thinks is good for a shag.”  
  
Alex was quiet for a moment before saying, “I need to go to the train station. I'll see you in a few days, yeah?” he asked as he stood and gathered his bags.  
Matt shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, you will. But please think about what I said. I hate seeing you like this, and I meant it when I said it's not healthy for you to internalize everything.”  
  
Alex grimaced and nodded his head. “Thank you for being here for me.” he mumbled.  
“Of course, you know I always will be. I'll see you soon, okay?” Matt smiled.  
Alex faintly returned the smile. “Mhm, see you soon.” he agreed before giving his friend a brief hug and walking to the door.  
“Get a hold of me if you need to, Al. Remember that.” Matt called out as Alex slowly closed the door behind him.  
  
\--------------  
  
Alex stood on the platform and observed the bustling people around him as he waited to board his train. He saw a few people his age who looked as though they might be returning home as well. He watched parents racing around as they dragged their children along behind them, and he saw a couple strolling by, holding hands and grinning up at each other from ear to ear. Alex tried not to feel too much disdain towards the pair, it wasn't their fault that he didn't have what they did, after all.  
  
He began to wonder if maybe he was wrong for not agreeing to hear what Miles had to say. Although he did feel as though he shouldn't have to, that Miles should have spoken up when Alex tried to get him to originally, he still had an ache in his heart that told him he didn't do the right thing. He couldn't be sure if was a genuine mistake, or if he was just merely missing the man and craving to see him again.  
  
He was grateful to see that he was able to now board, he worried that if he had stood there for a second longer he'd turn right back around and go to Miles' flat. Alex found a seat by the window and got himself comfortable for the ride. He had his Walkman out for him to listen to, and fleetingly thought of the way Miles would tease him for still using such a thing. He groaned softly and put on his headphones. He wished there was an off button for his mind.  
  
\--------------  
  
Alex didn't receive the first text from Miles until about an hour into his journey. He'd been dozing off with his head against the window, though the bumps in the road made for what little sleep he got to be exceedingly unpleasant. He didn't think much of it when he felt the buzzing in his pocket, and so tugged the device out and checked to see who it was. Alex felt a lump in his throat when he saw his name, and though he had suspected Miles would continue to try and contact him, he still didn't feel anywhere near prepared for it.  
  
_'I'm so sorry.' _was all it said, but it was enough to send Alex's mind into a whirlwind. He looked down at the screen, reading those three simple words over and over until they were a jumble of letters that didn't make sense anymore. He could hear Miles' voice in his imagination saying the words, and he could picture the look on his face. He sighed and laid his head back down against the window. Moments passed until he felt his phone vibrating once more, still clutched in his hand. He glanced down and felt his heart ache at the words displayed on the screen.__  
  
_'I know I fucked up, but please don't give up on me yet.' ___  
He clenched his jaw and stared at the screen, trying to think up of a response. Nothing seemed right in his head, and so he chose to ignore the messages and slip his phone back into his pocket. He blew out his breath and tried not to imagine he was lying in Miles' arms.  
  
\----------------  
  
Alex had forgotten to inform his parents he was coming home early, and hadn't realized it until he stepped off the train and found no one waiting for him. He groaned and decided to make his own way home, it was only a fifteen minute walk. He hurried along and ignored the way his arms burned from carrying his luggage. He cursed under his breath for not eating that day, though the idea of it repulsed him. He just wanted to sleep and forget the rest of the world.  
  
He contemplated if he was any better than Miles by running away and ignoring him, and he tried to justify his actions by telling himself that it was Miles' fault he was doing it in the first place. If he had just been honest, it wouldn't have ended up like this... The notion seemed ridiculous instantaneously, but Alex was one to never admit he might have made a mistake. He was still hurt, after all. He had opened up and shown his vulnerability to the man only to have it pushed aside. He was never someone who handled rejection very well, and this was a new form of it that he was completely unfamiliar with.  
  
Alex turned down the street where he grew up, and he never thought he'd be so happy to see his childhood home. He began to run towards it, racing past the other houses in a blur. His breathing came hard and fast, and he felt a fire in his veins. He trudged up the porch steps and flung the door open, not considering that he might scare his parents. He stepped inside and quickly slammed the door shut behind him. He could see the living room from where he stood, and he stopped to gaze at his family's Christmas tree. His mind flooded with the memories of decorating Miles', and he froze at the sight of it. He could hear his mother calling out to him, though the words were muffled in his ears.  
  
“Alex? What are you doing home so early! Did you walk? You know you could have rang and I'd have gotten you!” she laughed, though it was short lived as she took in the state of her son. “Alex...?” she said as she stepped closer, and he finally looked at her with wide eyes.  
  
“What's wrong, love?” she asked, her voice ringing with concern.  
Something inside of Alex snapped then, perhaps hearing the nickname Miles always liked to call him, and he could feel his eyes begin to water. Matt's words from earlier came back to haunt him as everything hit him all at once.  
  
“Mum...” he squeaked, his voice cracking. He dropped his bags to the floor as the first tear escaped his eyes. His mother held her arms open for him, and he quickly fell into her embrace. He buried his face into her shirt just as he broke down entirely. He let out a sob and felt his mom rubbing his back as she softly whispered soothing words into his ear. He held on tight and let everything he'd tried to bottle up spill out of him. He cried and clung onto his mother, not thinking of how he was making a mess of her shirt.  
  
He eventually calmed down a few moments later, only letting out a soft hiccup every now and then, and he finally pulled out of his mother's arms. He felt a bit embarrassed by his outburst, and he sniffled as he tucked his hair back behind his ears.  
  
“Sorry, about all that...” He muttered as he wiped his eyes.  
“Oh, hush. That's what I'm here for. Now come to the kitchen and I'll make you something to eat.” his mum insisted. He followed behind her and sat down at the table, watching as she made him a sandwich.  
  
“Where's dad?” he asked as she sat the plate in front of him and joined him at the table.  
“He went out bowling a little while ago.” she answered as Alex took a bite of his sandwich. He suddenly felt starving, and he soon was already halfway done.  
  
“So tell me, who did it?” his mom asked, making Alex knit his brows.  
“What do you mean?”  
She smiled sadly and gently patted his arm. “Who broke your heart?”  
  
Alex swallowed and slowly set his sandwich back down onto his plate, his eyes widening. She laughed softly before going on. “You think I don't recognize heartbreak when I see it?” Alex remained silent and picked at his food. “I didn't even know you were seeing anyone.”  
  
Alex's mouth twisted as he mentally cursed at himself for getting into this situation. He sighed and said, “We um... We sort of kept it to ourselves.” He shook his head. “I don't think I'm heartbroken, though. Just hurting a bit is all.”  
His mother nodded. “What happened?”  
  
This was a conversation Alex dreaded ever having, but he decided he might as well get it over with, knowing she would continue to pester him about it if he didn't. “I told him I love him and he didn't say it back... He didn't really say anything, actually. He tried to talk to me a bit after I was done with my exam, but I had to go.”  
  
She drummed her fingers on the table and pursed her lips. “So he wanted to talk to you about it and you said no and left him?” Alex nodded sheepishly and she sighed. “You're such a stubborn boy sometimes... What class did you have with him?” she asked, and Alex almost choked on his own saliva.  
  
“None...” he carefully let out, panic beginning to rise up within him.  
“Well how did you meet him, then?”  
Alex dragged his hands through his hair and groaned under his breath. “A bar.”  
She furrowed her brows. “Okay... But how did he talk to you after your exam? You must have gone to school with him?”  
Alex silently prayed for the ground to swallow him up. “Not exactly...”  
  
His mother grunted in frustration. “Well how, then?!”  
“He goes there, sort of... He just isn't a student.” Alex mumbled as he twisted his fingers in his lap.  
Her eyes narrowed as she straightened up in her seat. “What do you mean by that?”  
He ran his hands over his face, taking a deep breath before sputtering, “He... Uh, well... Sort of... teaches there?”  
“Oh Lord, Alexander! You're in a relationship with your teacher?!” she shouted as she covered her forehead with her hand.  
  
Alex winced and stood to toss the rest of his food away. “Well no, not anymore, clearly.” he retorted. He allowed her to believe it was an actual relationship, since he'd rather stick his head in the oven than tell her what they really were. He dropped back down into his seat, waiting for her scrutiny, and was surprised when it never came.  
  
“Well...” She began. “I can't say I exactly approve, but I also can't tell you what to do anymore. You're an adult and can make your own choices. It's just a bit odd for me to know my son is dating men as old as I am.”  
Alex laughed, “He's not that old!” She glared at him and raised her brow, striking fear in Alex that only she could manage. “Er.. Well, I mean... Not that you're old, mum! Um.” he tried, and was relived when she smiled at him. He'd live to see another day after all.  
  
“Calm down. I know what you meant. How old is he, then?” she questioned.  
Alex stretched his arm out in front of him and laid his head down on top of it. “He's twenty-nine.”  
She sighed and shook her head. “That's still world's apart.”  
“I know, but I connect with him... I dunno how to explain it, really.” he mused.  
She stood and smoothed out her blouse. “I'm going to put on some tea. Want some?”  
  
Alex smiled and nodded his head, his hair falling into his face from the movement. He traced the pattern of the tablecloth with his finger as his thoughts drifted off. He already missed Miles terribly, though still couldn't bring himself to respond to any of his messages. He could only hope that Matt was right and that Miles was missing him just as much.  
  
\-----------------  
  
It was five in the morning by the time Miles stumbled back into his flat, having spent his entire evening at the nearest bar and drinking himself into an oblivion. He slammed the door shut and kicked his shoes off. He slowly walked into the living room with his hand flat against the wall, using the surface as a guide. He automatically moved over to the tree and ran his finger across a bulb with a yellow submarine on it. He laughed drunkenly as he thought back on Alex's excitement when he saw the ornament, having declared it his favorite soon after.  
  
He sighed and grabbed onto random furniture to steady himself as he moved to his bedroom. He was proud that he almost fell over only twice. He slipped into the room and navigated his way towards the bed, ridding himself of his clothing along the way until he was in his boxers. He sunk down onto the bed and rubbed at his heavy eyes. His body may have been tired, but his mind was talking a mile a minute.  
  
He was a bit dismayed that his alcohol consumption seemed to have magnified his thoughts rather than put them on mute. He grunted as he reached down for his trousers beside the bed, pulling out his phone and cigarettes. He quickly checked his messages on the off chance that Alex had responded to him, but his stomach swelled with disappointment at the realization that he had not.  
  
Miles missed him, more than he ever imagined he could. Although he was frustrated by the younger's refusal to listen to him, he still felt as though he deserved it. He didn't truly believe he deserved Alex at all, but he was too much of a selfish man to let him go without a fight. With shaking hands he lit a cigarette, the smoke soothing his lungs. Before his thoughts could catch up with his actions, he was opening up Alex's contact information on his phone and pressing the call button. He held the phone to his ear and puffed on the cigarette, breathing out just as his voicemail picked up. He wasn't surprised, he assumed the boy would be sleeping, and he felt a shock run up his spine from hearing his voice. He soon snapped out of his brief moment of euphoria when he realized the message had stopped, and was now recording him.  
  
“I, uh. Oh. Hi, Alex. Miles here.” he slurred down the line. “You probably knew that. I was supposed to... Hang up before this happened. I wanted to hear your voice. It's in my head, you know. Always, love. But uh... I prefer the real thing. I think you're in my veins... I should go, and I'm sorry for being such a wanker. I... I, fuck.” and with that he quickly hung up and tossed his phone onto the nightstand.  
  
He flicked the ashes off his cigarette and onto the floor, wincing as he went over the message in his mind. He took another hit and stubbed the cigarette out on the table. He couldn't be arsed to care about cleanliness at the moment. He pressed back onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. He could feel himself on the verge of blacking out, and he welcomed the notion. Anything to forget for awhile.  
  
He tried making himself get comfortable, but could only toss and turn and groan in exasperation. He turned his head to the left and stared at the place where Alex normally slept. His side of the bed, as Miles thought of it. He inched over until he occupied the space, pressing his nose into the pillow and grinning when he was met with the younger's scent. He sighed and hugged the pillow against him. It was no Alex, but it would have to do. Miles liked the idea that he was keeping his side warm until he came back. Or at least that's what he told himself as he drifted off into a restless sleep.  
  
\------------  
  
The next night found Miles in yet another bar, although this time it was the same one he had met Alex in. He once more spent the day sending the boy texts that remained unanswered, and he began feeling an overwhelming amount of despair over the matter. He held onto the fact that Alex hadn't told him to stop outright, and hoped that it meant he still had a chance. No news was good news in his mind.  
  
He sat in the same seat as he did that night, expecting to see Alex at the table to his far right, only to of course be disappointed. He ordered four shots of vodka and guzzled them down one after the other, slamming the empty glasses back onto the counter top and looking around the room. He tensed up when he noticed Matt at a table with a couple other people. Miles ordered another drink and found himself watching them like a hawk, hoping for an opportunity to arise where he could speak to Matt alone.  
  
An hour later and he got his chance, as he watched Matt leave his friends and go off to the toilets. He gulped down the last of his drink and slinked off after him. He really didn't have a plan, and he knew this wasn't the best idea he'd ever had, but he wasn't sure what else to do. He shoved the bathroom door open and was thankfully met with Matt washing his hands.  
  
“Oh, for fuck's sake!” Matt cried out as he whipped around to face Miles. “What the hell do you want?!”  
Miles held up his hands and took a step closer. “I just wanted to talk to you, that's all.”  
“And what makes you think I'll let you?” Matt asked, his brow arched, challenging the man.  
Miles shrugged and smiled halfheartedly. “I was hoping you'd just be kind enough to do so.”  
Matt scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You clearly don't know me that well, then.”  
  
“Look... I get that you're pissed at me, I understand. You should be. But... He won't answer me, and I need to talk to him. I feel horrible about the other day and I want to fix it.” Miles spilled out, not caring how desperate he may appear.  
  
Matt tilted his head and crossed his arms over his chest. “So what are you getting at, Kane?”  
Miles laughed sharply. “It's Miles, honestly at this point there's no reason for formality.” he corrected. “I need to see him... Can you tell me where he is?”  
Matt shifted and scratched the top of his head. “He's home, I thought he told you that already?”  
“Yes, in Sheffield, but I want to know where exactly he is?” Miles inquired hesitantly.  
  
“You want to just show up at his parent's house? That'll go over well.” Matt replied sarcastically. “No. Now, I need to get back.” he said as he tried to walk past Miles, though the professor was quick to react and moved in front of him.  
  
“Matt, please tell me. I know I'm fucking crazy for trying to do this but I need your help. Please?” Miles begged as he reached out and grabbed Matt's shoulders.  
Matt backed out of his grip seconds later and glared at him. “Why the fuck should I?! He's hurting and is miserable, thanks to you! No, fuck off.” he growled as he once more attempted to push by the man.  
  
Miles shook his head and pushed back. “No, Matt, please tell me!” he repeated, his voice hoarse.  
“Get off me, you dickhead!” Matt shouted, shoving Miles down onto the floor. He watched as Miles sat up and leaned against the wall, burying his head in his hands. Matt raced towards the door and almost made it out, but stopped when he heard a strangled noise from behind him. He sighed and walked back into the room. He stood in silence as Miles cried on the floor, his body shaking.  
  
“I love him! Fuck, I love him so much...” he sobbed, rubbing his palms along his eyes and shuddering.  
Matt closed his eyes briefly before slowly sitting across from the man. “Then why didn't you just tell him that?”  
“Because I'm a prick. I was scared of getting hurt and then ended up hurting him instead. I thought it'd be better to just push him away than be honest.”  
  
Matt gaped at the professor and groaned. “God, you lot are a couple of idiots. I don't even know if it's ethically responsible of me to help you get him back, you two will crash and burn the whole bloody world.”  
  
Miles smiled and shook his head. “Nah... Alex is brilliant. But I'd certainly fuck the world up.”  
They both laughed for a moment, falling into a slightly uncomfortable silence before Matt spoke up, “Alright. I'll tell you where he is. But I swear to God if you hurt him again I will beat your arse.” he threatened.  
  
Miles' eyes widened. “Oh no, trust me, I don't plan on ever being so daft again. And you have my permission to beat my arse.”  
“Good. Now hand over your phone so I can type in the address.”  
  
\-----------------  
  
Miles rocked back and forth on his heels as he stood outside Alex's front door the following evening. He arrived later than expected, the sun setting almost an hour ago now. He looked down at the bag sitting at his feet that contained the younger's presents. Even if Alex told him it was over, he still wanted him to have them. He clutched a bouquet of red roses in his left hand, dragging his free hand through his hair in a fit of nerves. He planned a thousand different things to say on the drive over, but now that he was here, he couldn't recall a single one of them. He took a deep breath and raised his fist up to the door.  
  
“Miles?” he heard from behind him. He turned around and was met with a confused looking Alex standing a mere few feet away from him.  
“Oh! Um... You're supposed to be... You know, on the other side of the door.” Miles stuttered out, sighing as he went on. “I mean, I just wasn't expecting you to be here. Well, I expected you here. But not... Outside.” He glanced down at the bouquet in his hand and abruptly held it out to the man in front of him. “Er, these are for you. I hope you like flowers.”  
  
Alex eyed the bouquet and slowly took it into his hands, biting his lip as he gave a small nod. “Why are you here? How did you even know where I was?” he asked, his eyes darting back up towards Miles.  
  
Miles flushed and looked away. “Uh. I saw Matt last night and he sort of told me...” he admitted, his voice growing more quiet with each word spoken.  
  
Alex rolled his eyes. “I should have known; fucking Matt.” he scoffed.  
“In his defense, he did put up quite the fight before he told me.” Miles assured him.  
  
Alex lowered his head, making his hair fall into his face. He peeked up at Miles through his curls and repeated, “Why are you here?” his voice soft and almost fragile.  
  
“I wanted to talk to you. I know I should have done that the first time, and I wish I had. I just... I need to tell you some things. And if you don't want anything to do with me anymore, I'll accept that and leave you alone. But I can't until you at least hear me out... Please, Alex?” Miles asked, his voice breaking slightly.  
  
Alex dropped his gaze to the ground and pressed the bouquet against his chest. He was secretly thrilled that Miles had come to see him, but he wasn't ready to show him that just yet. Still, he knew he could never say no to Miles, and he sighed as he realized just how weak he was for the man. He raised his head back up, and the two of them locked eyes.  
  
“Okay.” Alex whispered.  



	10. And In the End, I'd Do It All Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes are at the bottom this time. Enjoy, and sorry about the wait!!! <333

Alex gestured towards the couch as soon as the pair had stepped inside the house. “You can sit.” he said, shrugging out of his jacket and hanging it up before stepping into the kitchen.  
  
Miles walked over to the sofa, dropped his bag down and sunk into the cushions. His eyes carefully took in the scene in front of him. The place reminded him of his own childhood home, he was certain that he even saw some figurines on a shelf that his mother owned. He glanced at the side table to his left and noticed a photograph of Alex when he was a toddler placed there. He smiled as he took the frame into his hands. The Alex in the photo couldn't have been any older than three, and was sat in the driver's side of what Miles assumed to be his parent's vehicle. His tiny hands were gripping the steering wheel as he grinned up into the camera lens, both rows of his teeth exposed from how wide his smile was.  
  
“I hate that picture, I wish mum didn't have it out like that.” Alex spoke, his voice cutting through the silence. He shuffled over towards the couch with a glass of red wine cupped between both of his hands.  
  
“You were adorable... And you still smile the exact same way, when you're really worked up.” Miles replied as he slowly set the photo back down. “I love that smile.” he mumbled as he turned to face Alex, who was sat on the other end of the couch. Miles thought he was much too far away for his liking, but didn't want to push his luck.  
  
Alex looked down at his glass and realized he forgot to offer any to Miles. “Oh, sorry, you want some?” he asked as he went to stand up.  
Miles raised his hand and shook his head. “No, no. I think my liver would appreciate a break. Thank you, though.”  
Alex shifted and took a sip of his drink, setting the glass on the coffee table and flicking his gaze towards Miles. “Yeah... I got that message you left me. You haven't been drinking too much, right?”  
“Oh I've been drinking way too much, if I'm perfectly honest. The past few days are a bit of a blur.” Miles admitted.  
  
Alex reached out as if he was about to touch Miles, but thought better of it and dropped his hand back down to his side. “I wish you wouldn't do that.” he softly replied.  
Miles grunted and stared at his knotted fingers. “This isn't what I wanted to talk about.”  
“Well speak, then.” Alex urged.  
  
Miles' eyes wandered around the room as he tried to collect his thoughts. “Wait, where's your parents?” he asked.  
“Went to visit me aunt, I didn't feel like going with them. They'll be back Friday.” Alex informed him before taking another sip of wine.  
“Oh... Right.” Miles responded a bit unsteadily. Why was he so scared to be alone with Alex? He quickly rationalized that he was scared of the possible outcome of the situation, not of the younger man himself.  
  
Alex moved an inch or two closer to Miles and looked at him in curiosity. “So...? Are you going to talk or did you drive all this way to repeat the last time?”  
  
Miles scowled at the remark, and Alex arched his brow, sticking his chin out slightly. Miles looked away and stared at the wall ahead of him.  
  
“I'm sorry about the way I acted, it was childish of me. I just didn't know what to do.” Miles said, looking down and beginning to pick at the skin around his fingernails. He fell silent again and could already sense Alex beginning to feel a bit irritated. Just as Alex opened his mouth to speak, Miles went on. “I thought things would be better off if I just shut you out. It wasn't, though. I know I was wrong. I completely fucked up.”  
  
Alex pursed his lips and nodded, his expression unreadable. “Why did you think that?”  
Miles shrugged and continued to glare down at his hands. He was tempted to ignore the question, but knew he risked losing Alex for good if he failed to answer him. He scratched the back of his head and sighed. “I'm scared you'll hurt me.” he quietly admitted.  
Alex furrowed his brow and frowned. “Hurt you? When have I ever done anything that made you think I'd lay a hand on you like that?” he questioned.  
  
Miles' eyes snapped up to meet Alex's, and he was quick to correct the younger's assumption. “Oh, no no, not physically hurt me. I meant... Emotionally.” he muttered, and he suddenly found the gold chain around Alex's neck to be exceedingly interesting. He didn't want to see the sympathy Alex's face would display, he hated feeling so vulnerable. He noticed the way Alex's body twitched, leaning in the tiniest bit, and Miles knew that he wanted to hold him. He had learned early on that Alex was a very nurturing soul, always trying to care for those closest to him, and he was saddened to see him trying to fight it.  
  
“I would never hurt you, Miles... Not intentionally.” Alex gently insisted. “I lo-” he started before abruptly shaking his head and trying again. “I mean... I couldn't ever do that to you.”  
  
Miles' heart sped up hearing Alex's words, and from knowing what he almost let slip out. Maybe his efforts so far weren't hopeless after all. The feeling was gone as quickly as it had appeared when Alex pressed on.  
  
“Why are you scared about that?” he asked, and Miles began to fill with dread. He hated opening up, especially when it was the old wounds of his past. However, he'd never met anyone quite like Alex. Miles knew his deepest secrets were safe with him, and that he'd receive nothing but comfort in return. He rubbed his hands over his face and laid his head on the back of the couch, keeping his focus on the ripples in the ceiling. He could feel Alex's stare burning into him.  
  
“I just... I have severe trust issues, I suppose. I'm sure that was kind of obvious from the start.” Miles traced circles onto his left palm as he went on. “The first few years of my life were wonderful. My parents and I lived in a cramped little place, but things were good. We were happy, or so it seemed... When I was about five, it was discovered that my dad had been seeing other birds behind my mum's back, and my mum was understandably furious and kicked him out. At first, he would come and visit with me, or I'd go stay with him for a night. This lasted for awhile, and then he just stopped calling, stopped coming over. As soon as the divorce was finalized, he was gone, and to this day I still have no idea where he is, or why he left.”  
  
Miles took a breath and clasped his hands together, eyes still upwards. “And so... That's why I've always rejected relationships, and feelings... I've never felt safe putting my trust in someone else. I've never believed anyone could love me and want to be with me.”  
  
Alex reached out and slowly ran his hand up and down Miles' arm. The past few days he had been hurting, definitely, but the pain he felt now was worse than anything else he'd ever experienced before. He thought back to when his mother said he was heartbroken, and how he rejected the idea. He hadn't been, not then, but he was certain that he was now. Only his heartbreak wasn't for himself, it was for his lover.  
  
“Miles... How could you think no one would love you?” Alex questioned, completely baffled by the notion. If you asked him, he couldn't understand how anyone didn't love the man. Miles' body tensed, and for a moment Alex was worried he was about to shut down again, until he spoke up.  
  
“I've always thought that your parents were the two people in this world who are meant to love you unconditionally, no matter what. That they'll always be by your side. And one of mine proved me wrong on that theory... One of the two people who should've always been there abandoned me and never looked back.” Miles started. “My own father didn't love me enough to stick around, so why would anyone else? Especially someone who didn't have a moral obligation hanging over their head. And that's why I did what I did... I guess that I feel like one day you'll realize whatever it was that made him go and you'll disappear too.”  
  
The words stung Alex, and he could feel himself crumbling from them. It broke his heart to know that these were all things Miles had been telling himself for years. He pushed himself closer to the man and slowly took one of his hands into both of his own, rubbing his thumb along the warm skin. He laid his head on Miles' shoulder and gazed up at him, making Miles turn his head towards him. Alex was determined to make sure Miles never felt unloved ever again.  
  
“It's not your fault, what he did. Don't ever think that there was something wrong with you, clearly the issues lied with him, not you. He doesn't know what he missed out on.” Alex lifted his head and gave Miles a small smile.  
  
“You're a good person, Miles, and you deserve to be loved. You're worthy of it, please don't ever think that you aren't...” His voice dropped down to almost a whisper. “And don't be scared. I know I can't determine the future, but I have no intentions of disappearing anytime soon. Quite the opposite, I'm gonna be around so much you'll be begging me to leave.”  
  
Miles' lips twitched as he shook his head. “I can't see that ever happening.” He squeezed Alex's hand and his eyes flickered down to the boy's mouth.  
  
Alex snickered and released Miles' hand. “Kiss me.” he murmured. He tilted his head and laughed suddenly. “Kiss me, beneath the milky twilight...” he sang softly, and Miles groaned and rolled his eyes.  
  
“No! Dammit, that song is going to be stuck in my head for a week now!” he cried, and Alex only continued to laugh.  
“Shut me up, then.” Alex countered with a wink and flirty grin.  
Miles smiled back. “So cheesy.” he muttered as he leaned in. Just as his lips brushed against Alex's, he pulled back. Alex grabbed onto Miles' shirt and tried to pull him closer, but the professor shook his head and lightly pushed on Alex's chest.  
  
“What's wrong?” Alex asked, a hint of annoyance in his tone.  
Miles gently stroked his thumbs across his cheeks. “Is everything alright? You know, between us?”  
  
Alex raised his eyebrows and smiled. “Yes, everything is perfect.” he answered. Miles let out the breath he'd been holding and wasted no time in connecting their lips. Alex sighed happily and interlocked his hands around the back of Miles' neck. They'd only been kissing for mere seconds before Miles once again pulled back. Alex opened his mouth to protest but was stopped by Miles' words.  
  
“I love you.” he breathed, running his hands though the younger's hair. God, he had missed that.  
  
Alex's eyes widened as his hands tightened slightly on the back of Miles' neck. “Do you... Do you really mean that? Because you don't have to say it to make me happy, I understand if you're not comfortable and want to take things slow. I just-”  
  
“Alex, I don't think I've ever meant anything more.” Miles interrupted, and he had never seen Alex light up so much. Alex tugged Miles forward and smashed their lips together. Miles groaned and Alex took the opportunity to slip his tongue into the older man's mouth. Miles was a bit surprised by the slightly bolder behavior, but thoroughly enjoyed it nonetheless.  
  
Alex crawled onto Miles' lap and straddled him. He broke the kiss and whispered against the other man's lips. “I love you too.” He pressed one small kiss to the tip of Miles' nose before sliding off his lap and standing up, holding his hand out to him.  
  
Miles smiled and slid his fingers between Alex's. “What are we doing?”  
“Going upstairs.” Alex replied as he helped Miles up.  
“Oh? Why are we going upstairs?"  
  
Alex smirked and kissed the corner of Miles' mouth. “So we can have make up sex, of course.”  
Miles arched a brow. “Why do we have to go upstairs for that? We've done it on a settee before, love.”  
  
“Yeah, yours! I don't think me parents would like it if their son and his former English professor shagged on theirs! Besides-” Alex started as he pointed towards the photo Miles had looked at earlier, “I don't wanna be in the middle of mind-blowing sex and happen to glance up and see that bloody picture.”  
  
Miles burst out laughing at the remark. “Suppose that is a bit of a turn off, isn't it?” Alex quickly nodded and Miles kissed his temple. “Well, I hate to break it to you, but we can't either way. I don't have anything with me. I didn't think you'd let me inside the house, let alone want to do anything like that.”  
  
Alex pouted and Miles shrugged his shoulders. “I'm sorry, darlin'. I guess you could always go see if your parents have anything.” he suggested, chuckling at the disgusted look on Alex's face.  
  
“That is probably the last thing I want to do. I never want to know if they have that stuff. Oh, there's a shop a few blocks down, let's go there.” Alex suggested.  
  
“Are you that horny?!” Miles exclaimed, though his amusement was apparent.  
Alex tugged on Miles' hand and led him towards the door. “Yup, I am.”  
So Miles followed Alex's lead.  
  
\--------------------  
  
Alex insisted on taking Miles' car in order to save time, and had spent the entire drive rubbing the inside of the professor's thigh, his fingers teasing along the line of his zipper. They now stood in front of a display in the corner shop as Miles tried to find specifically what he was looking for. Alex had his arms wrapped around the older man's waist, pressing his body into his side as he whispered naughty things into his ear.  
  
“Stop that, Alex.” Miles warned him, his voice low.  
Alex gently bit his earlobe, and smiled when he heard Miles let out a shaky breath. “Hurry up and decide, don't make me wait.”  
  
Miles grabbed the first things he saw and went to walk away when Alex suddenly pulled him in for a kiss. He pushed the older man up against the cooler behind them, making Miles inhale sharply. He swiftly broke the kiss and stared at the now giggling boy in front of him.  
  
“You do realize we're in a shop, right?” he asked.  
Alex nodded and bit his lip. “I've never gotten to kiss you in public before, so I wanted to try it out.”  
Miles pursed his lips, leaning in a bit closer, and Alex took it as an invitation to continue. Both men smiled into the kiss and forgot the world around them until they heard a familiar voice behind them. “I take it you two made up then.”  
  
The pair separated and were met with Matt standing a few feet away, his brows raised with a smile on his face.  
Alex lowered his head in slight embarrassment as Miles placed his hand on the small of Alex's back. “Yes, we have.” Miles informed him.  
Matt looked between the two of them and nodded in approval. “Good. Now Alex won't be so whiny anymore.” he joked as Alex flipped him off. Matt laughed and went on. “Anyway, I just got back and me mum and I stopped in to grab a few things, so I'll-”  
  
“Alex! I haven't seen you in awhile! How are you?” Matt's mother cut him off as she joined them.  
“I'm great, Jill, thank you.” Alex rushed out, nervous about her wanting to know who Miles was. As if on cue, she then asked, “Wonderful. Who's this then?”  
  
Alex and Matt looked at each other in panic while he thought of what to say. He was surprised when Miles chose to speak up instead.  
  
“Hello, Miss. I'm Alex's boyfriend, Miles.” he said, holding out his free hand for her to shake. He was beyond thankful that he was holding their purchases in the hand hidden behind Alex.  
  
Matt glanced at Alex for confirmation, wondering if what Miles said was true, and he took the way his friend was practically glowing as his answer.  
  
His mother looked a bit surprised, though chose not to say anything. “Well, hello then. I'm Matt's mum, Jill. It's lovely to meet you.” Miles agreed and she bid them goodbye, leaving the three of them.  
  
“I'll get going too.” Matt stated, reaching out to give Alex a quick hug. Alex stepped into the embrace, and Miles liked seeing how close the two of them were. It made him feel good to know someone was there for Alex.  
  
Matt went to walk away, but glanced at Miles' now exposed hand first. “Well, I can see you two are going to have a good night.” he pointed out, and Alex swatted his arm before his friend walked away, laughing.  
  
\------------------------  
  
As soon as they entered the house, Miles had Alex pinned against the door, the weight of his body holding him in place. His fingers dug into Alex's hips as he sucked and bit at his neck. Alex whimpered and pulled at Miles' hair. He had missed being marked up and reveled in the feeling of it. Miles broke away and tugged Alex's jacket off, followed by his own, dumping them on the floor. He bent down to grab the small brown bag that had fallen to the ground before picking Alex up in his arms, making the younger cling to him. They started up the stairs with Alex placing a series of kisses all over Miles' face. He became so distracted by the affection that he accidentally dropped the boy halfway up the stairs.  
  
"Shit! Are you okay?!" He asked frantically.  
Alex began laughing hysterically as Miles bent down to make sure he wasn't hurt. He hovered over Alex's body while he continued to laugh, and his panic began to melt away.  
  
"You said you'd never drop me!" Alex exclaimed through his fit of giggles. "But I'm okay. At least the stairs are carpeted."  
  
Miles calmed down completely and laughed along with his lover until Alex silenced him with a kiss. He wrapped his legs around the older man for a second time and rolled his hips up, making Miles groan. Alex gently pulled back on his bottom lip as he broke the kiss.  
  
"We can just do it here." Alex whispered, digging his nails into Miles' shoulders.  
"What? On the stairs?" Miles asked incredulously.  
Alex licked his lips and nodded his head, his eyes burning with lust.  
Miles chuckled and scooped the younger man up into his arms. "Come on, love. We're almost there anyway."  
  
They made it up the stairs without any more accidents, and Alex directed him towards his bedroom. The door was already open, and Miles kicked it shut once they were inside. He walked over towards the bed and dropped him down on top of the covers, not bothering to turn on any lights. The curtains were open and the moonlight pouring in was more than enough light. Miles pulled his shoes off, making Alex follow his lead, and the older man crawled on top of him. He sat up on Alex's lap and stared down at the beauty underneath him.  
  
"Are you attached to this shirt at all?" He asked, smirking when Alex shook his head no. He then ripped it open, the buttons popping off one by one, before laying it open and admiring Alex's exposed chest. Miles lightly ran his finger down the center, smiling at the way Alex shivered. He leaned closer and kissed along Alex's collarbones before moving lower to his nipples. He flicked his tongue against a sensitive bud while rolling the other between his fingers, causing Alex to whine and buck his hips up.  
  
"You make the sweetest sounds, I'll have to record you sometime." Miles murmured against his warm skin, and Alex hummed in response.  
He moved further down Alex's body, kissing and licking along the way. He nipped at his hipbone as Alex moaned and pet at Miles' hair.  
  
Miles unbuckled Alex's belt, tugging it through and out of the loops on the boy's trousers. He was about to toss the item to the floor when a sudden idea crossed his mind.  
  
“Do you trust me?” he questioned Alex, searching his almost blackened eyes.  
  
Alex propped himself up on his elbows, his shirt slipping off of his shoulders as he gave Miles a curious glance. “Yes, of course I do. Why are you asking?”  
  
Miles sat up and motioned for Alex to do the same. He rid the younger of his shirt and dropped it to the floor before pushing Alex back down. “Lift your arms above your head.” he instructed.  
  
Alex eyed him warily but still did as he was told. He lifted his arms above his head until his hands hit the wooden slots of his headboard, making him realize what Miles had planned. Goosebumps raised on his flesh in anticipation.  
  
Miles crawled up Alex's body until he had easy access to his hands. He wrapped the belt around his wrists before looping the leather multiple times around one of the slots, tying it into a knot. He gave a rough tug to ensure it wouldn't come loose. Satisfied, he moved back down until his face met Alex's.  
  
“Is that too tight, sweetheart?” he mumbled against his lips. Alex shook his head and Miles gave him a quick kiss. He started to repeat his process from earlier, moving slowly down the boy's body as he littered his skin with kisses and love bites until Alex said. “Stop, I can't wait anymore. I want you.”  
  
Miles was more than happy to fulfill Alex's request. He undid his trousers, tugging both them and his briefs down and off of Alex's body in one motion before quickly discarding all of his own clothing. He grabbed the paper bag and dumped its contents onto the bed. He picked up the small bottle of lube and went to lather a couple of his fingers in it until Alex stopped him. “No, God, just fuck me. I want you inside of me.” he groaned out, his voice already hoarse.  
  
Miles reached for the box of condoms and ripped it open, taking one out and tossing the rest onto the floor. He carefully opened the foil packet and applied the condom. He glanced up and saw Alex watching him, his eyes half lidded as he licked his lips. He continued to stare at the younger man as he slicked a generous amount of lube onto his length.  
  
“Open up, baby.” Miles cooed as he patted Alex's thigh. He took the hint and eagerly spread apart his legs, and his cock twitched against his stomach.  
  
“I love seeing you like this; all tied up and ready for me.” Miles commented as he spread the remaining lube over Alex's entrance. He positioned himself over the other man and slowly pushed inside of him, moaning softly at the warmth and tightness. Alex panted and pulled against his restraints, his mouth hanging open as he adjusted to Miles' stretching him.  
  
“It's okay, go on now.” he croaked out, and Miles obliged, slowly at first, taking his time and savoring the feeling of being inside of Alex, at the sound of his quiet whimpers and soft moans. Miles tangled his hands in the younger's hair and delivered a brief, gentle kiss to his pouted and reddened lips. He pressed his forehead against Alex's and slipped a hand down and around his shoulder blade.  
  
“You're so gorgeous; you're everything.” Miles muttered, kissing the corners of Alex's mouth. “God, I'm madly in love with you. I knew I would be from the moment I first saw you.” he added before pressing their lips together again.  
  
Alex inhaled sharply and wrapped his legs around Miles' waist, wanting him as close as he could get. He gasped as Miles broke the kiss and started to speed up his movements. “Why'd you leave me like that, then?” he asked, his voice shaky before letting out a groan.  
  
Miles sucked and bit at the skin underneath Alex's Adam's apple, moving his hand from his shoulder and down to his thigh. He dug his nails in deep and smiled at the almost sickeningly sweet moans that escaped from Alex's mouth. “Fear. I didn't want to love you, not at first.” he answered as he lowered his head to kiss the hollow of his throat. “Now I can't think of anything better.”  
  
Alex sighed in delight and rolled his hips up. “Harder, Mi. Make me take it.” he demanded, grunting in approval as Miles began to pound into him. He shut his eyes and cried out when he felt Miles' cock hit his prostate, turning away and biting onto his own upper arm in an attempt to silence himself.  
  
His eyes fluttered open and he was met with his own reflection in the full length mirror he had propped against the wall. He had forgotten it was there, and was thrilled by the discovery. He watched the way his body moved upwards with every harsh thrust Miles gave him.  
  
“You like watching yourself while I fuck you, don't you? Don't blame you, I like it too.” Miles growled, making Alex turn away and gaze up at the older man. “No no.” he murmured as he propped himself up with one elbow and moved his other hand from Alex's hair down to his throat, tightening around it. “Keep watching, darlin'. We both will. I want you to see how beautiful you are when you come.”  
  
Alex's eyes rolled back as he once more faced the mirror. Miles pressed his body against the younger's, their eyes locking as they stared at each other in the mirror. Alex bit his lip and let out a moan as Miles continued to coax him.  
  
“Keep those pretty eyes open, baby. I know you're ready, I am too. Come on, love, come for me. Show yourself how gorgeous you are.” Miles loosened his hand around Alex's throat and grunted as his orgasm hit him. Alex came seconds later, and he watched himself with wide eyes as Miles stroked his hair and whispered words of praise into his ear. He cried out a string of “I love you's,” his come spurting out onto his stomach and chest.  
  
Miles resisted the urge to drop onto Alex and pass out, instead sitting up and reaching for his now ruined shirt. He cleaned off the other's stomach with it and tossed it aside, discarding the condom in the bin beside his bed. He quickly undid the belt from around Alex's wrists and dropped it onto the floor before crawling into bed beside him.  
  
Alex smiled at him, and couldn't remember the last time he felt so content. Miles took his wrists into his hands and gently rubbed them. “It's alright, they don't hurt or anything.” Alex mumbled, though still greatly appreciating the gesture. “Can't wait to try and explain the marks to me parents.” he said, making Miles chuckle. They laid in a momentary silence until Alex asked, “What was in that bag you brought with you?”  
  
Miles grinned. “Your Christmas presents. I wasn't sure what would happen, but I still wanted you to have them either way.”  
  
Alex's eyes lit up. “Can I open them now?” Miles laughed and nodded his head. Alex pressed a quick kiss to his temple and bolted out of the room, not caring that he was completely naked. He returned minutes later with the bag in his hand. He climbed back into bed and pulled the sheets up to his waist.  
  
“Just so you know, I put your roses in a vase earlier, but I forgot them in the kitchen... Is there a certain order I have to go in?” Alex asked, unable to contain his excitement.  
  
“No, I don't mind which you open first.” Miles answered.  
  
Alex reached into the bag and pulled out the larger present first. He ripped off the paper and pulled off the top of the cardboard box. It was some type of red clothing, and Alex took it out of the box to give it a closer look. He unfolded the item and realized it was a red turtleneck jumper with line indentations throughout it.  
  
“I thought it'd look nice on you, and I also figured you could use something with a neck like that.” Miles told him, and Alex laughed and nodded. “Mhm, especially with you around. It's lovely, thank you, Mi.” Alex murmured, leaning forward and kissing his cheek. He gently placed the jumper back into the box and laid it down on the floor. He grabbed the smaller box out of the bag and carefully removed the wrapping paper. He was met with a small velvet box, much like the one that held Miles' gift. He arched a brow at Miles as he lifted the lid open. Inside the box was a ring with a silver band, and the words “Death Ramps” etched across the top.  
  
“I got that custom made. Remember the night we met, you were telling me about how you'd go to that place with your mates and ride your bikes. You seemed so excited talking about it, and I thought maybe you'd like something with the name on it. I figured a ring would be nice...” he trailed off and gauged Alex for his reaction.  
  
Alex stared at the ring, unable to form any type of coherent sentence. He was shocked that Miles had remembered such a thing, and amazed that he went through all the trouble of having the item made for him. He felt a warmth spread through his body as he looked up at Miles and beamed.  
  
“I love it.” he told him before tugging Miles into a kiss. “Oh!” he burst out as they pulled apart. He turned around and reached into his bedside drawer for Miles' gift. He gently placed his ring on the table top before turning back towards the other man.  
  
“For you. I guess we both had the same sort of idea.” Alex said as he held the box out. Miles took it in his hands, smiling as he pulled the lid open. He ran his finger across the red stone in the middle and looked back up at the nervous boy in front of him. “It's perfect, love. I adore it. You know me well.” he assured him, leaning in and giving him a quick kiss. Alex grinned and put the box on the table beside his own.  
  
Miles laid flat on the bed and held his arms open, inviting Alex to curl up beside him. Alex quickly took up the offer and cuddled against Miles, his arm around his waist and his head on his chest. Miles snaked his arms around Alex and pressed light kisses into his hair. He lifted an arm and twirled a strand around his finger.  
  
“Your hair is so lovely.” he stated as he let the curl bounce back into place.  
“I was thinking about getting it cut over the holiday, actually.” he mumbled against Miles' chest.  
Miles' hold on the younger man tightened as he made a slight squeaking noise. “No, you're never allowed to cut it. No pair of scissors shall ever come near it.” Miles insisted.  
  
Alex smiled and rubbed his thumb along Miles' side. “So I have to keep it forever? Even when it goes all the way down to the floor?”  
“Yes, even then. You'll be my Rapunzel.”  
  
Alex laughed. “Alright, as long as you hold it up for me while I walk.”  
“Deal.” Miles agreed. They were quiet for a short while before Miles said, “I was only kidding, you know. You can do anything you want to your hair, it's your choice.”  
  
“I know, but I think I will keep it for awhile longer.” he half whispered, his eyes beginning to droop closed. He had almost fallen asleep completely when he had a sudden thought. “Mi... Did you mean it earlier when you said you were my boyfriend?” he asked, his voice soft.  
  
Miles traced up and down Alex's spine with his finger, tilting his head so he could see the younger's face. “Of course, love. As long as you want me to be... I'd be honored to be your boyfriend, and for you to be mine.”  
  
Alex lifted his head and grinned, frantically nodding. He hovered over Miles and ran his fingers across his cheek. “I love you, Mi.” he whispered.  
Miles smiled the crooked smile that Alex adored as he placed his hand over Alex's. “I love you too, Al.”  
  
And they sealed it with a kiss.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the end. I felt like this was a good place to finish things. I knew that for the story to keep going, I'd have to add in a bunch of unnecessary drama to keep it interesting, and so I thought it would be better to end it here. They're together and happy, and that's what we all wanted, right? 
> 
> I once again apologize for the wait, it was mainly because I didn't want to let the story go and was putting off writing it as long as possible. The chapter also is quite lengthy, but I figured you wouldn't mind too much, considering it was the last one and how long I made you wait for it. :)
> 
> The experiences that Miles talks about with his father are drawn from my own life, and are all things I've expressed in the past. I of course don't know for sure how Miles feels about his dad, though from what I've seen in interviews he says they're still close, but I chose to omit that for the sake of the story.
> 
> The song Alex sings is 'Kiss Me' by Sixpence None the Richer (featured in probably every teen movie ever made from the late 90's into the early '00's.) 
> 
> I'm so sorry about the way it ended, particularly the last line, it's insanely sappy and lame, but I couldn't resist giving them a grotesquely cute ending. They deserve it, I believe. :)
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for reading this, and for all the positive response and love I got for this fic. Every single comment on here and message sent to me on tumblr means the world to me, and I appreciate it so much. I love you guys! 
> 
> <33333333333

**Author's Note:**

> Find me over on [tumblr](http://prettyvisitorsinthebakery.tumblr.com)!


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